The yoga practice has continued at home for the most part over the last two weeks, even though the studio is open again with limited capacity.
The first few days I was simply not fast enough to get on the waitlist and then given my zen place, decided to do yoga alone at home to recorded classes.
The last few zoom classes my teacher has been trying to give me very precise instructions on one pose.
The balancing stick pose (Tuladandasana) which is a short and sweet pose. . . no I am kidding. We are talking Bikram hot yoga. There is nothing sweet about it. It is a time lapse trip to hell and back in 10 seconds, and that is my PG version.
The idea is to stand on one leg and stretch the hands and legs like you are the rope in a tug of war competition. The number one thing that puts anyone on guard in a hot yoga class is "lock the knee" which sometimes is also refered to as "lock the damn knee" etc. So whenever the teacher mentions locking the knee, or using your inner thighs etc. the brain automatically thinks "standing leg" or the "balancing leg" that is usually unlocked.
Turns out my teacher was talking about the stretching leg. She even told me in two classes back to back "use the inner thighs on the left leg and lift it". I heard it and processed it as "Sarah has got the legs mixed up again. I am standing on my right leg and lifting up my thighs all I can but nothing is moving!"
Then in an act of coincidence, when I was in zombie autopilot mode for a fraction of a second, I let the brain process what had just been heard and accidentally realized that she was indeed talking about my left leg!
She had practically given me a "paint by numbers" type instruction and I had still managed to $#% it up two days in a row!
Funny thing is that the correction made me balance easier and I was not killing my ankles and feet trying to lift from the bottom part of the leg.
The fact that she literally has to beat it into me, on zoom, three days in a row is a testament to the perseverence of the teachers!
Today I was part of a livestream class where you watch the people in the hot room and join the class. The teacher cannot see me on video as they are in the room. Sarah knew I was in the zoom version of the class and she gave me the exact same correction, even though she couldn't see me! This time I was ready and doing it right. Had even practiced it a few times yesterday.
Here is a video showing a before and after.
Normally you take the step everytime you go down but I planted my front foot down in the video for a reason. That way I can superimpose the two versions in photoshop easily..
The other interesting thing is that this concept works well in two of the four poses in the spine strengthening series where you have to lift your leg and push it towards the back!
Some of you might be thinking "hasn't this guy been doing this 2000+ times over 10 years? he must be the worlds dumbest student". Well, I think that sometimes too but then realize that it has nothing to do with the effort or dedication or what type of intelligence you have.
It all has to do with registering certain things. Watching someone end up in a pose just tells you the end result. Which muscles they used to get there is not obvious. They might explain the body mechanics and practially give you very specific instructions but we are inherently biased. We put filters between what we hear and what we actually process in our heads!
I am happy to have realized this. This is not the first time there has been a lightbulb moment and this surely won't be the last.
Just cannot wait for going into the studio and embrace the heat and humidity!
When I am teaching something to my kids, by the third time my voice or body language shows my frustration as a teacher and my kids pick up on it!
A big thanks to my teacher for being soo persistent and patient, even when she could see that I simply was not getting it, days at a time!
Exactly 10 years ago, my MIL and me walked into the old studio of BYSJ to do our very first hot yoga class.. it was not "bright and early".. more like "dark and cold".. but early it was at 5:30AM.
Over the years it has been a journey filled with little joys, frustrations (mostly in the early days of practice) but mostly realization of what this body and eventually mind can do and how things are connected.
Practicing yoga is the one thing I could always count on to bring me a level set every day, no matter the other circumstances that weigh in.
My MIL does yoga at home (whatever yoga works for her) and I have stuck to Bikram Yoga for 10 years now. Have tracked the classes, my weight after coming home (or walking to the bathroom now that coming home after yoga has been reduced to a 30 second thing!) and have been doing yoga very regularly. It has been 2259 classes as of yesterday and hopefully tonight we get to round it to 226 classes a year.
The teachers tell you to practice at least 4-5 times a week and that is about there. 4-5 times a week.
I cannot tell you enough how good this practice has been for me. It is my sincere wish that more people pracice yoga and practice regularly.
My MIL has not been fortunate enough to practice in the latest BYSJ studio. She showed up here on March 13th last year and the studio closed on 16th. We did get a chance to go see the studio, thanks to BYSJ!
Cannot wait for the doors to open again and soak in the heat and humidity!
Today also happens to be Maha Shivarathri, a day for spirituality and a special day that brings back so many memories for me personally. The fact that the 10 year yoga anniversary fell on Maha Shivarathri made my day!
This photo was taken last night by San of me doing yoga..
Incidentally, my first yoga blog post 10 years ago was about being able to do this pose with some semblance to what it was supposed to be. I could not grab my feet for the first 9 days. Finally managed it on the 10th day!
It is a lifelong practice.. just getting started.
Wishing myself and the MIL a very happy Yoga anniversary and a happy Shivarathri to all of you!
A heartfelt thanks to BYSJ and all the teachers for the yoga and everything the yoga has given us!
On Sunday, an experienced and expert Yoga teacher, Mary Jarvis was to visit Bikram Yoga San Jose and teach a class at 10AM followed by a special posture clinic class from Noon to 4 PM... at least that was the plan.
She did come and the regular 90 minute class at 10AM went till 1:15. Almost everyone in the room just stayed the entire time trying to grasp every little detail of what she said. She chose her words carefully and she gave us perspective on the Yoga practice itself. It was a window to what was possible and why. The how of it was secondary. It was personalized depending on the student and the day and time of class, a function of everything else in their mind and life.. but she was not going to judge us as long as we tried.
We got a 15 minute break and continued. There have been a few special classes over the years as part of practicing Yoga that helped improve the practice and produce light bulb moments. This class was up there on that list.
At this point everything in class looks like "BM" and "AM" .. Before Mary and after Mary, which is why I call it a new marker on the Yoga journey.
Since Sunday I have been in three classes including tonight and I started thinking of some little things first.
1. No fidgeting in class. You stay still in the pose and in between poses. Apparently she ate flies that sat on her face just to avoid fidgeting. Her teacher(Bikram) threw her out of class for fidgeting in between poses.
2. No water during the class. If you breathe through the class, you don't need water (her words, not mine). Apparently there were no water bottles allowed in the days she learned yoga and in her studio she asks teachers to lead by example. However she doesn't insist on students giving it up but asks them to try.
3. 4. 5. ... 655.. the rest can wait. I was going to try 1 and 2 first.
First class AM, too much fidgeting but at least I was conscious of it. Also avoided water till half way point when we got to the floor series.
Second class AM, 3 fidgets and they were pre-meditated. There were many that were subconcsious but didn't know it. Also almost made it without water for 80/90 minutes. Just before we went to the final stretching pose I caved. Went for the water bottle.
Today was class 3. I did not fidget knowing it. There were 6 instances where subconsciously my hand was going to my forehead to clear sweat and every time my hand went up, brought the other hand up to do a Namaste in front of the mirror. I am sure the folks around me were thinking "what a narcissistic asshole Namastaying himself after every third pose... but it doesn't matter. What was important is that I was in "eyes wide open" mode the entire 90 minutes. It is amazing to realize that there are points in the class where I had no idea what I was doing.. at least prior to this class, and I have been in Jesssica's class a gazillion times and I think I pay attention to her. Apparently not a 100%. It is not easy to be conscious of every little movement.
One thing that was sacrified to be that conscious was my face had this intense stare throughout the class and I did not smile. Maybe that is the next step in the evolving process. Stay alert and smile.
As for the water bottle, didn't touch it today. It was there, inviting me all the time, taunting me, tempting me.. but made it through the class and all the way home. Drank water after a shower. Nothing bad happened by skipping water. So far so good..
Sometimes a special teacher can make a world of a difference. Mary Jarvis has made two small dents in my practice within a week. Will see how many of the rest of her words of wisdom sink in and make a difference over time.
Everything in my life right now is linked to Yoga. Even this blog post. Not sure if this is true, but Gandhi is said to have mentioned that on a normal day you do your yoga and on a busy day you do it twice, or some such thing. Even if he had not said that, it makes sense!
The last week was a good one, because I did not fall sick. Nothing incubated inside of me after that Asia trip and ravaged me a few days later. The week felt like it had 10 days though. Sometimes you just get into that mode of improving your batting average at work and the more you focus on it, the more balls seem to come your way! It was that kind of week. On Friday, my voice started to crack. That is always an early warning sign for the impending aliens to put me back in bed. One thing leads to another and I am thinking.. "Hmm, I am behind on my yoga attendance and this may be the day to do two classes back to back".
This is not the first time I am going to a yoga class twice in a day (did 4 over a 24 hour period two years ago with a good nights sleep thrown in) or doing two classes back to back. Usually, I look at the schedule and make sure it is not the "tough love" teachers in both the classes to pace myself and take a breath here and there when we get to the "I am definitely going to die on this mat today" part of class.
The first class was taught by a teacher who is from the "tough love" school. Her default is to kick my ass in class. Just at the exact moment, my head is filled with "best standing bow EVER!" she will go "Sundar, kick harder! you are not kicking hard enough" and I will be screaming inside my head going "that wasn't enough? that is all I got lady! Any more kicking and my head is going to spontaneously combust and you will have to scrape my smoking remains off the mat!". I would get the same feeling from when I was at the toll booth on 680, trying to collect every last quarter, nickel and penny in the car to make the 5$ toll, or risk a 27$ fine only to find that I am 17 cents short!
All said, made it through the first class! After a quick internal debate with myself on the sanity of going back into the hot room, the side that said "why not? It cannot get any worse!" won. Drank a packet of Vitamins (and the 5g of sugar and electrolytes in it) and went back in. Took a nice 10 minute nap and before I could finish an evening dream of doing a better standing bow, the bell rang and the next class started.
This time, I did not check the schedule to see who was teaching the two classes. Even if I HAD seen the schedule, it would not have made a difference. The next teacher who showed up, had taught me maybe twice before. Both those classes were overflowing with people and she didn't give me any corrections. This time was different. She knew it was my second class in a row...
If you have watched enough National Geographic videos, you will know that a lioness knows which gazelle is most likely to end up dead at the end of the short video clip, even before she takes the first step towards the watering hole. I was that Gazelle! Okay, that was stretching it a bit far. If you got visions of me gracefully moving through the savanah, let me stop you right there! The comparison is purely for the "dying at the end fo the clip" part. There was no grace, no strength or any sign of a fight left in me, or so I thought. It is one thing for the lioness to know which Gazelle.. but I wonder how the cameraman knows which one. He seems to pick it out with as much accuracy as the lioness.. and if a lioness and a cameraman know..why are the gazelles not able to know as well?! Where were we? Too much Planet Earth in my head right now. Getting back to the topic...
On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is like infinity and 1 is next to nothing, my strength was a 5 and flexibilty was a 3 during the first class. At the end of that class, my strength was a 2 and flexibility was 5! You become suddenly aware that bending comes easy and holding the bend is incredibly hard. 15 minutes into the second class, we are doing the first back bend and the teacher goes "you are already relaxed Sundar. Go for it.. bend!" and I went back in one smooth motion and didn't stop. Almost fell backwards after I could see the baseboard on the back wall! That is as far back as I have ever "back bended" standing up all these years.
Then I promptly panicked. The realization that there was not enough strength to get that heavy head and upper body back up hit me. Tried to come out of the posture immediately and there was a rush of blood from somewhere to somewhere.. and the next thing I know, was sitting down on the mat. For a few moments, everything was white and the teachers voice could not be heard. She was saying something to me but my ears shut down. There were an uncountable number of Jedi warriors fighting in my forehead with light sabres.. or was it an uncountable number of people using vacuum cleaners?! Maybe it was Jedi warriers with vacuum cleaners?! It was hard to tell.
For reasons unknown to me or anyone else in the Universe (except probably my wife), I got back up and kept going. At some point the teacher mentioned she was picking on me to make sure I didn't go into "auto pilot" mode. Translation: "Not going to let you make it easy on yourself. It is my job to make sure you push yourself past that point". Went along with it and did my best ever, on a lot of poses in that class. There was some cramping, but came out of that as well and finished it still breathing. To an average Nat Geo cameraman, it might not have been very impressive, but I came out of that class alive and well!
After class we are having a chat and the teacher goes "I was going to pick on my fiance who was in the class. Didn't pick on him enough. Was trying to make sure you don't take it easy on the 2nd class". I told her "you don't have to say anything to him, to pick on him. You just have to look at him!. When my wife looks at me, I know one of two things...
a. I forgot to do something or
b. I did something wrong in a way it was not supposed to be done
a look is enough!"
Everyone had a good laugh and I started driving back home...
Isn't life like Yoga?! In the almost 19 years of married life, there are the same emotions you go through on the mat that get repeated over longer time frames outside the yoga room. Everything from elation to disappointment, but only fleeting because you know it is all good in the end! and there is the red line..
When San gives me that look, I know that the first red line has been crossed! Something has been forgotten or done wrong. Now it is a question of seconds.. the clock is ticking. If the mistake can be identified within those precious few seconds, sanctions can be avoided and wars can be off the table. Problem is when you don't know that you have crossed the red line.
This could happen when you have screwed up on multiple fronts and are trying to figure out which one got you that look from your wife. You forgot to wash the dishes.. no, you forgot to put the clothes in the dryer..no, she is at her laptop with that look.. you forgot to print and sign that damn thing at work and our printer at home is out of paper or toner or you were supposed to tell your boss something or you forgot to file your reimbursement or .. or.. or .. your head spins as you try to correct any and all mistakes within those few seconds.. kind of like you try to correct that standing bow with the teacher staring at you..
What have you done?! not lock that knee? not stretched that hand? not looking at the right place? not kicking hard enough? The teacher is still going "Sundar.. come on?" They won't tell you, what it is that you are not doing for an agonizing second or two!
(had some fun just now with Jr. recording me doing a standing bow that I used to do almost 7 years ago, almost 3 years ago and close to present day.. right after munching a lot of carbs while watching Superbowl with friends)
That is when you cross the "double red line"! Be it home or Yoga room.. that is the "don't make me come there and show you!" look which by now elicits a Pavlovian response from me :
1. Hang down head in shame
2. mutter something to myself
3. realize that I was definitely in the wrong, given my track record
4. find out if there is any chance to undo the damage real fast
At home, chances of undoing damage fast are a hit or miss, but in the hot room... we do everything TWICE! Thank god for small favors. So I do get to show that what is being said has been understood and corrected in "take two"!
As I write this post, have crossed three red lines and one double red line already. But it shall pass. When you are surrounded by folks who have your back, life is good!
Sunday, March 28, 2021 at 12:26PM ;)
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