We had landed almost two hours late in the morning.
The last time I visited Mumbai and spent time here was 2017! After reaching Chembur, we had less than an hour to get ready to visit temples! It was all planned by MIL. There was some chai and fresh pav for us to gobble up before leaving the apartment.
We visited Mahalakshmi first. Was drooling thinking of fresh hot kunukkus behind the temple at Laxmi Bajiya house.. was told that things have changed. No more shops in the back.. No way to go to back either to see the ocean because of constuction. There is a freeway coming that has totally changed the ocean view..
Then went to Siddhi Vinayak. In spite of the crowd that pushes relentlessly, there is some peace that comes to me when visiting this place. Do not know why! We walked out and decided to eat right outside the temple. First rava dosa in Mumbai was amazing.. everything we ordered was amazing. Cannot beat food in India!
We spent the rest of the evening visiting San's cousins with her uncle. Her baby cousin (who incidentally was the oonjal kid in our wedding) has been married for years, but I never got to meet her hubby and in laws. Managed to meet him finally!
We spent the next morning at the Chembur Murugan temple with San's uncle. Got to recite Rudram with him and watch abhishegam. Got to meet my collegemates and chat without realizing how time passed.
we tried to recreate our first portrait but both of us were laughing and it did not come out as planned..
Ate at a few places like Arya Bhavan (which is okay given the hype) and Mani's which lived up to the hype on this instance(where we ate tiffin items) and did some shopping!
we had to wait to be seated practically every place we went to eat.. every place is crowded! I came to the conclusion that Mumbai doesn't have enough restaurants for the local crowd.
Got to sample food at Sadhguru which was amazing and GuruKripa in Sion with my classmates and both places were good. However, there was no Chai at GuruKripa.. I was in shock. The samosas were amazing!
Was so happy chatting with my buddies. Was glad to see we are all doing good and are in decent health!
I also met a cat that does yoga in Mumbai..
and another cool cat that is happiest when in Mumbai..chillin.. this one misses the beauty parlours a lot when in the US. If San is sad and needs to cheer up, all she has to do is go to Mumbai, eat pani puris and vada pav and get some henna, facial , handial, leggial etc. and voila.. we have happy San again!
Just like that three days gone and it was time to fly to Chennai ...
Faith is an interesting thing.. it makes you do things that are ingrained in you from childhood. Everytime I lose something and I have to find it in a time sensitive way, subconsciously say a prayer to Ganesha and say "will light a camphor light(karpooram) for 10 paise at the local temple"..
a. we don't get camphor lights in the US that easily
b. there is no 10 paise anymore
c. local temple can be anything but was originally intended for Vembadi Vinayagar, a little ganesha under a pipal tree that I have circled with prayers to remove obstacles real and imaginary..
But it gets done.. and we are not even talking about if we actually found the thing on time or not.
In 2014 my MIL was going for a bone marrow test and in pure panic mode I prayed to my family deity (Gunaseelam perumal) that if the test came negative for cancer, will go shave my head in the temple. That was more of an extreme case of the camphor lighting thing..
Have made at least 6 trips to India since that time but never got the opportunity to go visit Gunaseelam. Faith is interesting.. seeing your family deity is not up to you, it is up to your deity.. or so the saying goes! Guess on this short trip to see my dad, there was no agenda.
Three weeks ago, was lying in a hospital bed myself, dreading some worse case scenarios, which fortunately turned out to be something a lot less threatening. While there, the thought of unfinished business with god somehow bubbled up to the top of the already buffering thought process. What if I died and did not do the "mottai"? After all the bone marrow test for MIL had come out negative!
The original plan was to just go alone with a driver and get things done and get back. Then my parents said the words "Can we come with you?".. In case you didn't get the reason Faith got mentioned three times in the title, "you cannot say no to someone when they ask to come to a temple with you".. My dad was bedridden two weeks ago and he barely started walking again. An adult in diapers who just started walking, coming on a day trip where we spend 11 hours in the car and 3 hours in a temple is no joke.
Somehow, we told ourselves, if it was meant to be, we will make it. I did a risk mitigation plan that would make any project manager proud and we left at 3AM. It was still raininig in Chennai but we were off to a flying start.. We had one stop for 25 minutes and were back on the road.
Given this is my n'th mottai at Gunaseelam, the whole thing was done in 7 minutes.. then came the best part. There was water in the river that flows to the temple! Had a great time taking a dip in the river and have the fishes nibble at me. We were on a deadline and I had to pull myself out of the water to go in and finish the rest of the prayer.
Our driver and some total strangers helped me navigate a wheel chair through the temple. The priest knows our family and was extremely nice and made sure my dad got to see the deity up close.
On our way out a puppy came up and lay down under our vehicle. This one knew how to put on a sad face like a pro..
It was time to drive back. My dad is like a kid who just got his tonsils out and knows that his parents won't say "no" to anything... we just got out of the temple and he mumbles "elaneer.. I want elaneer". He wanted coconut water. Was not even sure if this is coconut water season and we were watching the road for it and sure enough we found a vendor selling fresh coconut water. It is not a good idea for a person of his age to drink that instead of lunch. We stopped at an A2B for lunch and it was really delicious. Had a full course meal. As an added bonus this place had a wheelchair ramp!
Then came the bombshell from my dad "I want to use the restroom". That was not part of the plan. It was going to be diapers all the way. But a kid without his tonsils... is a kid without his tonsils. The restrooms here are not typically wheelchair accessible. They are simply not for anyone who is not fit and can manoeuvre around a potty, a door that swishes past the potty with millimeter tolerance and a bunch of taps and buckets on the floor that are trip hazards. In what can only be described as a houdini move, managed to get my kid to go potty and get him diapy changed. That coconut water was a bad idea. Our driver concurred.
The rest of the drive back was calm and serene. There were cops every 100 feet. So I started counting cops. After 270, I stopped counting. That was only on one side of the road from Dindivanam to Melmaruvaththur. My mind boggled at the efficiency of this whole security apparatus with so many cops just standing on the roadside doing nothing.. then again, maybe this system works, who knows! We actually slowed down to ask one of the cops to find out what the big deal was. He proudly answered "The Chief minister of Tamil Nadu is making his way back to Chennai on the same route!"
We made a dash for it to avoid his motorcade and made it back in exactly 14 hours. For a few minutes after reaching could not find my legs.. had let my dad doze off on me. . . which reminded me of my kids dozing off on me on another recent trip.
It has been another interesting day.
A picture that says it all..
and a short video of the days experience..
It is always a great feeling taking a dip in the river.. mottai or not. Was glad to see my parents smiling again, even if for one day!
Now the only thought in my head is "the mosquitoes are going to get me good tonight with this exposed scalp.. they will suck my brains dry and I might actually wake up smarter!"
My head feels lighter already, both literally and figuratively...
The last time I was in India for my birthday was three years ago. It was a memorable birthday spent with my collegemates at a reunion in Varanasi.
The last time I was with my parents on my birthday was in 2003!
Recently my dad fell down (again) with his Parkinsons and stubborness both advancing more or less equally. So I decided to come spend the thanksgiving week with my parents in Chennai.
Was welcomed shortly after midnight by the immigration officer who was nice and greeted me but missed the fact that it was my birthday.
Had a short nap after three back to back flights and went to see Kabali early in the morning. My mom gave me some money to go buy a shirt. She insisted. I happened to be the first customer for the store. They were delighted to have a very happy smiling temple going dude as their first customer and I got to pray with them again as they did the prayer to start business for the morning.
My dad is definitely doing better, but I think he is going on some adrenalin rush in the happiness of seeing his son back. This is a happy post, so I will stay positive. He is walking a 100 steps today. That is a big deal given he was not moving three weeks ago.
Then my mom insisted on some mini vadai and payasam to celebrate.. pre-diabetic label be damned, I promptly dug in.
This was followed by a whirlwind trip from old Cupertino to old Fremont (sorry.. Mylapore to West Mambalam) with an auto in waiting to see San's grandparents.
This is definitely a more adventurous ride.. see the two timelapses below..
The day is still not over but I am happy that my parents are smiling today.
Have a few more temples to visit and relatives to meet. It has been a different and great birthday experience this year. Thanks to everyone for the wishes on social media.
On our 5 day India trip, we managed to visit all great grandparents, thanks to some efficient auto rickshaws..
my maternal grandma is 90+ and her mind is very active. She is unable ot walk and she no longer asks me "when will my time come". she has been asking me that since my grandpa passed away almost 10 years ago. She has come to realize that no one knows.. and is now reading books to pass her time. She blessed us with all her heart!
San's grandparents are also pushing 90 and they are doing okay given their age. Walkers, hearing aids, etc. A slow methodical life and an approach of taking it one day at a time. Some lessons for San and me there.. Grandpa told me that till a few years ago he was doing yoga regularly including Nauli but now he is not able to. He is still active given his age and is a role model for all of us.
The best part was that they were the couple honored during my fathers sadhabhishgam as part of the "dhambati pooja" and given I was doing the pooja in proxy for my dad who could not bend down, it was a great honor! Will write a separate post on the function and what we did as part of it..
Then there was the eating in three places..
We went to watch Toy Story movie at the mall in 3D.. it has been some time since I saw anything in 3D given the massive headaches I get for days after watching any 3D movie.. but the kids wanted to go together somewhere and an Air conditioned theater was a good idea! After the movie the kids decided based on reviews that the best place that would accomodate everyones menu requests was Haven Sampoorna right near Phoenix mall in Velachery. It was an interesting place. I got my butter naan and side dishes and the kids who wanted pasta, got their pasta.. food was good. service was good. ambience was funny..
Here is PIchchai Sundar with Sundar PIchchai... (kid you not, this was the photo right behind my chair)
you have no idea how many jokes I have to put up with ever since this guy became Google CEO. We are both the same age, went to similar schools and the same IIT coaching class in Chennai, think he also studied metallurgy, went to work for semi conductor companies ... I stayed in Semi and am traveling back and forth to Asia.. he moved to software and management..and probably has a lot of things going for him that I simply don't have or want.. but the jokes, they keep on coming.. So it was only fitting that I ended up below that photo!
The sceond place we ate was Amethyst.. again nice ambience, relatively quiet and excellent food.. we went for evening coffee/ tea with San's cousin and brother's family who also happened to be visiting and ended up eating a lot of stuff..
The last place we went to was in Matsya in Adayar.. on a previous trip we had gone to another Matsya branch.. this was closer to where we stayed. It was also a nice place (we didnt take pictures). It was raining in Chennai that evening and we were all not our best when we got there. The funny thing with Ola/ Auto etc. is that they drop you off at the location but on the opposite side of the street and there is no way to cross over for a good kilometer either way! So we walked around a flyover for 25 minutes to get to the place. The dinner was great though. They had an amazing variety of dosas and cricket matches playing on 4 different TV's.. so I got to watch cricket and eat dosas..
That was pretty much all the activities we did outside of the function.
Still waiting for photos from the function itself...
Missing San's maternal grandma who passed away recently as I write this post. We would always make a visit to see her as well. She passed away three months ago.
Great grandparents are precious.. the way things are going, not a lot of kids get to see their great grandparents!
It has been 6 weeks since I stopped drinking water during Yoga class. When I started to give up water during class, thought that it was going to be incredibly difficult.
Over the last few weeks (did miss two weeks during travel) always thought that there will be that "one class" which would get me to run back to that water fountain outside the class. So far, so good.
Think my mind knows now that as long as there was a glass of water 30 minutes before class, everything will be fine a good 30 minutes after class is over. Like Mary Jarvis had predicted on the 18th of March..... "you will not die if you stop drinking water during class. you will be fine!"
This is like starting to drive a battery car for the first time. Initially you have range anxiety. You are not sure if you can go to a place and get back. There is always some variability on the mileage depending on how fast or slow you go locally, which in the Yoga room is equivalent to not giving every pose a 100% in a stupid attempt to "conserve sweating" which is actually counter productive. You know there is no "nearest gas tank" where you can fill up and continue on a battery car.. Eventually when you get the hang of the routes you travel and know your speed, you stop having range anxiety. You know you will be fine.
What is the worse that can happen? you stop on the side of the road and have to call AAA? You are exhausted on the yoga mat and the teacher has to drag you out by your feet? (well, that has not happened to me yet... but a teacher did joke to a first timer that they should always have their feet towards the door during class and when asked why, replied "that is in case you die here and we have to drag your body out. it is easier feet first towards the door"... the teacher said it with a straight face and everyone burst out laughing)
It has been an interesting month. Two weeks in Asia. First week on business trip, followed by a quick Chennai visit for my nephews "upananayanam" or "Janeu" ceremony. It was a great experience. I was the only one representing the four of us. My sister came as well and after four years my parents got to be in the same roof with all three kids even if it was only for three days.
My sister and me with parents, while my brother is performing the ceremony on stage in the background. The photo of the five of us was not taken on my camera! So I have to wait for it...
Did manage to take a shot of my mom with all her siblings. The last time I managed that shot was in 2005 when my Grandfather got married to my grandma all over again at the age of 80!
13 years later my uncle has lost a lot of weight and looks like a concentration camp survivor and my mom and aunts have all put on weight and have some kind of health issue or another. They are all smiling and going about their lives and while that makes me happy, wish they would all take up some form of regular exercise. Was giving them the "never too late, never too old, never too sick..." spiel but it did not go very well.
My grandma is still around and tack sharp!
As soon as I got back home, San and the little one went to India to represent the family at her cousins wedding. There was no time to catch up on social media or do anything other than manage to go through the routine while getting over jet lag. Made it to Yoga almost every night after coming back, even if it meant going very late in the night. Hats off to all those single parents who come to Yoga class. Now I know why they pick the late night class.
We had a lot of discussion during the India trip on the impact of my deciding to settle in the US, how time and space can be hard barriers, but how family still holds together thanks to culture and tradition etc. The thread ceremony marks a boy's commitment to learning the scriptures. My brother and myself had our ceremony at the same time and it was a big experience for me. Somehow the meaning of the word "responsibility" came into consciousness after that ceremony. Till then I was happy playing cricket with the boys and I-spy with the boys and girls in Sambandham street without any awareness of the fact that I was not going to be a kid forever. Glad there was a ceremony like that to slap you into life!
There is no such thing for girls and my mother was telling me that the next big function for me was Jr's wedding...
It was great to watch my nephew go through this experience and suddenly tansform into a big boy and start to learn.. with the Gayathri mantra! He has excellent pronunciation and hopefully he gets to improve his memory by reciting things by heart over time. If he keeps up the breathing exercise that is half the yoga done already!
Clicked this one right at the end of the function. The Narayanan family has successfully passed on a male tradition to the next generation! Looks like the boy has the weight of the world on his shoulders and he might as well have. Passing on a quest for learning and questioning and understandign go a long way to the betterment of the world. The most important thing one needs to learn is "how to learn". Everything follows.
Next will be time to pass on female traditions a few years from now..
I had an amazing time paticipating in a function after so many years in India, taking pictures, chatting with relatives, catching up, and most importantly playing with my nephew and niece.
Instagram filters were a big hit with my niece.. every 10 minutes she would come to me and go "Periappa, doggie ears photo pannalamaa?" Think we exhausted every filter..
During the INdia trip, I avoided a lot of things that are usual. Said no to "ghee" for the most part, restricted myself to "small portions" of food (as small as my mom would allow) and avoiding a lot of fried stuff. That actually made life easier after coming back.
Saturday, March 16, 2024 at 1:40PM ;)
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