A day in Monterey

In what seems to be ages ago, San and me did a day trip to Monterey earlier this year.. this was between the India trip and our anniversary trip! 

It was a trip to go hiking with our jigiri dost's from morning to evening. Given our kids were not home, we drove early in the morning to meet them and started hiking.

It was cold and foggy as we made our way along the trail to see the coast line. 

Amazing views, lot of birds, deer, (some insects buzzing about) and seals in a cove with their little ones! Lot of work wtih the macro option as well ..

slide show of landscape photos..

and the rest of the highlight photos

 

We then went back to their place to have lunch. Had chai and then went back for another hike down to the beach! 

It was almost a private beach that day. Enjoyed that walk long the beach and drove back to bay area. 

It was a ton of fun and there were 200 photos and many video clips from that day..

Here is a video highlight

It deserved a blog post! 

We really enjoyed that day and still remember it! it was San's way of prepping me for traveling alone with her again and still have fun. 

It was a long drive in bad traffic on the way back. We realized there was no way we will make it home by dinner time.. so we stopped on the way at an Indian restaurant (my first time there). The food was good! 

Still have 2000+ pictures from that anniversary trip to Europe. It will take 2 years to write blog posts on that.. if my memory doesn't fade..

A different Mumbai after many years..

This is the first detailed post on the rushed India trip..

We had landed almost two hours late in the morning.

The last time I visited Mumbai and spent time here was 2017! After reaching Chembur, we had less than an hour to get ready to visit temples! It was all planned by MIL. There was some chai and fresh pav for us to gobble up before leaving the apartment.

We visited Mahalakshmi first. Was drooling thinking of fresh hot kunukkus behind the temple at Laxmi Bajiya house.. was told that things have changed. No more shops in the back.. No way to go to back either to see the ocean because of constuction. There is a freeway coming that has totally changed the ocean view.. 

Then went to Siddhi Vinayak. In spite of the crowd that pushes relentlessly, there is some peace that comes to me when visiting this place. Do not know why! We walked out and decided to eat right outside the temple. First rava dosa in Mumbai was amazing.. everything we ordered was amazing. Cannot beat food in India!

We spent the rest of the evening visiting San's cousins with her uncle. Her baby cousin (who incidentally was the oonjal kid in our wedding) has been married for years, but I never got to meet her hubby and in laws. Managed to meet him finally! 

We spent the next morning at the Chembur Murugan temple with San's uncle. Got to recite Rudram with him and watch abhishegam. Got to meet my collegemates and chat without realizing how time passed. 

we tried to recreate our first portrait but both of us were laughing and it did not come out as planned.. 

Ate at a few places like Arya Bhavan (which is okay given the hype) and Mani's which lived up to the hype on this instance(where we ate tiffin items) and did some shopping! 

we had to wait to be seated practically every place we went to eat.. every place is crowded! I came to the conclusion that Mumbai doesn't have enough restaurants for the local crowd.

Got to sample food at Sadhguru which was amazing and GuruKripa in Sion with my classmates and both places were good. However, there was no Chai at GuruKripa.. I was in shock. The samosas were amazing!

Was so happy chatting with my buddies. Was glad to see we are all doing good and are in decent health!

I also met a cat that does yoga in Mumbai..

and another cool cat that is happiest when in Mumbai..chillin.. this one misses the beauty parlours a lot when in the US. If San is sad and needs to cheer up, all she has to do is go to Mumbai, eat pani puris and vada pav and get some henna, facial , handial, leggial etc. and voila.. we have happy San again!

Just like that three days gone and it was time to fly to Chennai ...

A graduation to remember!

There was a break from social media between March and September. Sadly, this also meant a blog break. Many events, trips, thoughts went unposted. Going to try and catch up over the next few months. 

Writing can be cathartic. It can also be a good memory jogger, trying to see what sticks to your mind a few months later! 

Here is the first of such posts. The little one graduated high scool and has now settled in college. She is a five hour road trip away and that makes it comforting.

All she has to do is call and I can start driving.

Jr. on the other hand has not had a mention. She should have! She finished her 4 year degree in 3 years and did a summer graduation.

This was because of a deal we made with her. If she finished early, we will support her Masters program, no matter where. Remember, this is a kid who worked hard all summer in 8th grade to jump two levels in high school math. The motivation was a new iPhone instead of daddy's hand me downs.

It is a win win and she is back in California for her Masters. That alone was enough to make me happy. 

All she has to do is call and I can start driving.....you get the idea!

When she started at Purdue, I did not go to drop her. Stayed home with my emotional support puppy(aka the little one), while San went and dropped her. My friend went and helped!

Finally the entire family got a chance to see the Purdue campus and participate in the graduation. 

The best part was they had a surprise for me. My friend was there again for the graduation! 

It was fitting that he was there at the start and the end of that degree.

The graduation ceremony was very well organized. We got to see a very happy Jr. walk with confidence and hope. 

Drank some hot cocoa after the graduation before taking off from campus.

My family knows all too well that my best undergrad moments were not in the lecture halls, but sitting under a tree and drinking chai with my friend.

He would invariably challenge me on my grasp (of everything ?!) and always caution me on my jumping to conclusions, generalizing too quickly, forming very solid opinions very fast, only to revert. In short I used to be a fickle minded child and those chai sessions slowed me down for my own good. Apparently not much has changed in 30 years per family. Anyways, I am off topic already.

If there was any takeaway from that previous paragraph, it is :

1. Chai drinking is good for getting an education that you might not get in the classroom

2. It is better to go for Chai than for alcohol as you might actually remember what you learned (not covered in previous paragraph, but good advice given the kids are no longer kids!)

3. It takes a long time to change one's personality!

Got a campus tour the previous evening. Jr. showed us every part of campus she had visited. Nice campus which fits Jr. well. Now we know why she was at home in Purdue!

Got a nice family picture just before the clouds finally gave in and it started raining! 

A new beginning for both kids this year..

A short clip of the graduation ceremony..

Wanted at least one girl to do a doctoral degree, but that is a tough sell in this house. We are now into philosophical discussions on the value of a Ph.D in this day and age and "just because you were stupid enough to study forever, doesn't mean .. " type discussions. We live in interesting times and I am continuing to work on the "keep calm and carry on" attitude.  

We sincerely hope to see one more graduation picture added to that time series, in a couple of years! 

Thanks to all of you who have cheered and supported Jr. all this time! 

31 years later...

31 years ago, I went to college. Being the first grandson on my mothers side and given most of my social interactions were with my maternal grandparents and uncles and aunts who raised me, the entire family was participating in a social experiment.

"Sundaram has never been outside this small area all his life. Sure he can read write and speak Hindi enough to be the official translator for 20+ people crowded in front of the TV every Sunday before Mahabharat starts,  but that doesn't necessarily mean he will survive up north by himself in college!" 

Yours truly was the real life version of Jim Carrey in the Truman show... and I went to Benares to study.. The Hindi didn't help and first year was not what I expected. There were a lot of mistakes mostly on my part which made my first three weeks a crash course on life.  It took a phenomenal effort from my parents and classmates to help me through that year. Something for which I am forever grateful. Being intelligent and being smart are two different things. If anyone needs to understand that in your house, send them to me. Will gladly explain. 

The more time I spent in Benares the more I loved it. Was actually sad to say bye after 4 years. That experience at 16 did help me later in life multiple times as I moved to US for grad school and went from place to place, apartment to apartment and moved to the west coast.  My worldview is all the more supportive when it comes to dealing with people and events thanks to some rude awakenings in my freshman year. 

This weekend, Jr. goes to college. She is the first grandkid on both her mother and fathers side of the family but she has seen more of this world before college compared to me. Hoping she is smart and not called intelligent. This blog has seen her grow up right in front of all our eyes. Time flies because they are mostly good times.  She is a good kid. She is the type of person who will go run towards a problem to help someone when everyone else runs away. I hope she stays that way. 

It was decided by the family on a 3:1 vote that daddy will not be the one to drop her off in college. The logic was that I will cry in front of Jr. or make her feel sentimental and it won't help while saying bye. The little one's words I believe were "Appa is a drama queen! Don't send him. Let him stay here with me and I will manage him".  So San did the college visit. 

The best part of this was that my classmate and chai partner drove 4 hours to help. That is the real blessing.

She now knows a lot more about our college going days than I would have wanted her to know.. but that comes with the territory when uncles share stories.

My sincere hope is that she makes friends in college who will be her lifelong friends.. friends who will help her kids move to college when the time comes! 

After leaving for college I never got to spend more than 2-3 weeks with my parents at any time till to date. If history is any indicator, it will be something similar with this girl unless she comes back to the bay area to find work. 

As a parent, one can always hope. 

Have started a countdown to when she will be home at the end of the semester...

as long as daddy is working on counting something, tracking things in spreadsheets, etc. things will be fine.. cleaned up her room and sorted things out. It will take me a few days to get used to the fact that she is in college, but I am confident of getting through it. All I need to do is go every morning and change that number to a smaller number and take it one day at a time.

All that yoga is going to help! It already is.

Facebook and data..

This is a post on Facebook data.. my Facebook friend list data..

Given I tell FB a lot, it was quite interesting to see how FB doesn't make it easy for me to even track what is going on with my Friend list and update me on what is changing. 

A few hours ago, I was trying to see how many of my friends post politial stuff on my feed. I could count 8 people off the top of my head and by skimming my feed over last week. Given it is holiday season, it is easy to spot the political posts.. My count was accurate. My entire feed is pretty much overwhelmed by these 8 people. Maybe the others dont post much? Maybe the most vocal ones are the ones that keep forwarding stuff to everyone on their timeline? Maybe the things they are forwarding are paid ads masquerading as meme's or just regular forwards? Maybe the people are not who they claim to be on FB and the account is hijacked? a lot of thoughts led me to try and find out again how after reducing my friend list to 150 two years ago, it is back at 318 now.. what has changed in the friend mix etc. etc.

Any analysis starts with the data set. Trying to export just the list of friends and the number of friends they have (or mutual friends) is not trivial. I did spend a lot of time copy pasting stuff from HTML to csv to JMP and had to do some clean up just to get the data in three Columns.. (Friends name, their friends total, mutual friends). Now why FB lists only Mutual friends in some cases I do not know. At first glance it looks like some folks do NOT want to even disclose how many friends they have!! I don't know what the point is of being on a social network if you are that worried. Let's move on..

Then I found that some of my friends have deactivated their accounts. Their pictures are blank and there was nothing listed. When I click on that friends page it says "this account is deactivated. you have the option to unfriend this person". WTH? This was for multiple people. So the person just left FB without a note of any kind to say they are deactivating it? 

72 of my friends show only a mutual friend count. So it makes it difficult to do a fair distribution.. that was a painful realization that there was no way to get the friend count. You have to go to that friends page and see if it will show up. Even my wife's page will only show we have 152 mutual friends. It wont tell me how many friends she has in total. Not that this count matters but if you are looking at data and you try to see patterns it makes sense to have apples to apples. 

Then I put in a classification by how they are my friends. 

F- Family (anyone related by blood or marriage)

HS- high school (PS. Senior)

C- college (classmates, juniors, seniors) from IT-BHU

GS - Grad school (All the Drexel and RPI connections)

FF- Family friends (this one is tricky because some of these people we met in social settings, my kids classmates, but Majority are spouses of friends from HS, C, GS or my wifes classmates and their spouses)

BL- friends from my Blogger days who I have managed to stay in touch with till now!

Y- Yoga (there are teachers and there are students, but I just lumped it into one)

W- Friends I made at Cypress Semi at work

Here are the distributions given this classification:

This one is the distribution of the friends my friends have (unfortunately for the 72 people out of 318 where it listed only mutual friends, that data is not included in this). 

If you read the anthropology books Guns Germs and Steel or Sapiens, the authors make a case that tribes split up into rival tribes or multiple tribes after their populations cross 140-150. The social structure at that point is unmanageable and the connections become meaningless. At any one point everyone closely interacts with 15 people on a day to day basis. In the last 2 years I have observed this at work, at home, at gatherings and on my social media feeds. People simply become inactive.

Given that there are some celebrities in my FB friend list (read star Yoga teachers, music teachers, public figures) I took them out of the distribution to see what it looks like for the bottom two bars in the previous graph.. ie, people with under 1000 friends.. The people who are between 600 and 1000 are mostly inactive but keep accepting friend requests and looking at some of their pages, I am seriously wondering if there are account issues. Again, companies that pride themselves on AI should be able to see patterns and alert people that one of their friends is multiplying on their friend count in an abnormal fashion that does not make sense.

117/212 still have <300 friends.. and 78/212 are within 200.. Gave this 150 number a lot of thought for the "average person".. read "not someone who is trying to get a following like a Business person or Brand ambassador)  and maybe given todays ability to connect more easily, that number can be 300.. It should be able to plot the number of active interactions between me and my friends to verify this. I am sure FB does this or has the capability to do this, but it would be nice for me to do it with data at least as it relates to my account and friends.

In the graph above the top four points on the Family (F) are wife, MIL, SIL and co-sister (see graph below) why it will only give the number of mutual friends for these four people is beyond me.  You can see that a lot of my High school and college friends are connected to each other by looking at the mutual friend count and it is the case with the Yoga community. I really don't have an apples to apples on this one as technically all the mutual friend counts are not available.

The graph below is the mutual friend list distribution where FB wont list their total friends but only mutual. Each bar is the number of friends who have a mutual friend list between those windows.. eg. 1 friend (wife) with 150-160 mutual friends, 1 with 50-60 (MIL), 2 friends with 40-50 mutual connections (SIL, co-sister), etc. etc.

The bottom 32 people with 0-10 mutual friends are mostly not sharing their friend list?

So what did I learn from all these exercises of graphing and charting and cleaning up data sets?

1- It is not easy to get exportable data out of Facebook.

2- There is no notification if your friends deactivate accounts or become inactive for prolonged periods of time

3- There is no warning if your friends account is showing abnormal increases in friend counts

4- A lot of my friends on the list have way more than 150 friends just like me. 

5- Never got to the actual reason why I started doing this.. which was to see what % of my friends post political stuff. That count is still 8/318 but there is no easy way to classify the posts on an excel file and put a code next to it and pareto it!  Out of almost 200 most recent posts in my feed, 50 were political and they came from 8 people.. They all seem to have posts on their pets, yoga, family which always seems to be anywhere between 50-70% of their posts. If there was a select way to mute that, I would be a happier person. 

The real question is "Am I seeing all their posts?" or "is FB only showing me select posts from these people that are political?" or "are these people deliberately posting this only to me and a select group?"

No way to tell. 

Majority of the posts are travel realated or family photos and pets. For that, I will gladly keep reviewing accounts periodically, clean up stuff and go explain to people why there is no point on being "friends" on FB when I don't get to see what they look like after 5 years but keep getting memes and political forwards for years. 

I am just having data withdrawal symptoms.. there is a lull at work and Christmas/New Year is coming.. next I will go look at my Yoga class graphs and charts.. Thankfully, that dataset was generated by me and is very accurate!