I love you, Ambuja

There is no dearth of love for Sangeetha. There is just someone else, we all fell in love with, on the recent India trip.

The old female elephant at the Vaidheeswaran Kovil, so full of grace, with an ever present smile, she blessed all the kids and me, multiple times for a modest fee of 10 rupees. Do not know her name, and hence we are calling her Ambuja!

We stopped at the temple, because it happens to be the family deity for my maternal side and San's maternal side. After spending a good 15 minutes with my new love Ambuja, we went to the temple "kuLam" or water tank. This, thanks to San praying that, if she makes me throw pepper, salt and jaggery in the tank, my frequent sickness over the first half of 2008 will hopefully stop continuing to the latter half of the year and beyond!

Considering that my hair has survived several tonsure attempts in the name of such prayers over the last decade, I usually oblige when it comes to throwing salt, pepper, jaggery, coconuts, cucumbers, or what have you into anything and everything, in an attempt to save my already receeding hair. "Sure, lets get the salt, pepper combo and dissolve it in the tank! I have done it many times before as a kid, so why not once again?", I said and off we went with the packets.

I flung the jaggery into the tank when the few onlookers gave me a "look"! To our rude shock, there was a sign at the Kulam which said "Please leave the jaggery in this container. Do not put it in the Tank". We were perplexed. This was followed by two dudes who had open boxes (one for salt, one for pepper) with a sign that said "deposit the salt here, and pepper here". I went ballistic! "WTF?!" I told myself in my head, unable to blaspheme in one of my favorite temples.

The whole specialty of this tank was that over jillions of years, people had thrown enough jaggery, salt and pepper to make a giant tank full of "paanagam", which was pretty much a ready to drink super strength "gatorade". My grandpa and grandma used to tell stories of how if they boil rice outside the temple with water from the tank, they would get instant "Pongal"! The special bacteria that thrive in sugar syrup mixed with salt and pepper were probably responsible for the millions of miracle cures reported by the bathing visitors.

In this day and age where a woman pays a few thousand rupees to get eggs, cucumbers, etc. on her face and hair to "fructify" and nurture herself, imagine the power of a tank full of Paanagam?! Healthy glowing skin, beautiful face, god knows what other powers the waters behold. Might have even been an aphrodisiac of sorts, which explains why so many prayers for kids were answered after a dip in that temple tank!

One has to drop off the salt, pepper, jaggery in the pond, then DRINK the water to wash away their sins and heal! How does one heal when you just dump it in a plastic bin? To top things off, dude 1 at the salt container said "Sir, take one grain of salt and one grain of pepper and eat it! only then your sins go away". I was about to give the dude a piece of my mind.. "I paid for the whole plastic bag, you idiot! Can eat the whole bag if I want! Bah. Bah.. Bah!", all said to myself inside my head, as he started repacking my sins, ready to sell them to the next person at the temple door!

The funny thing is, that this happened in Goa a year back when I wanted to light a candle at the Bom Jesus Basilica! They would not let me light the candle, instead there was that same plastic container!! Once filled with unlit candles, it would be taken back to the front to be resold! The prayer paraphranelia recycle business is hitting devotees hard, irrespective of religion.

We did go and drink the water from the temple tank, and it was still sweet! That was a consolation. On our way out, we went to check San's Naadi Leaf. On our way in, we had already given her thumb print and date of birth and they had told us that it is 150 rupees for finding the leaf and another 250 rupees to read the leaf if found.

On our return from the temple, the triumphant declaration was that the leaf was found and San went in to ascertain that it was indeed her leaf. She came out with a big smile saying all the details they mentioned about her dad, mom, me etc. were accurate. Then came the shock. To read the leaf was now 1500 rupees total. This obviously pissed off San to no end. Told her that it was her call and if she wanted to go read the rest, it was okay. After all we visit India once a year and we don't show up at this temple that often!

After about 30 minutes, she got her leaf reading taped. I got to listen to it only earlier today, but heard the highlights. Apparently the tape said San's hubby, aka yours truly is a very "saadhu" and simpleminded person! San was trying to disown the leaf, but considering the rest of the details fit like a glove, this had to be accepted as fact!

Other than that the reading was not as interesting as the one done 11 years ago by my parents! This Naadi astrology has become a highly commercial activity now. Where there was one office, there are now a whopping 23, possibly split factions from the same family that controls the palm leaves.

This time there were no written poems in old Tamizh, just a horoscope on the first page.

The person who did the reading was almost making horoscope based predictions, which any qualified Hindu astrologer would!

The thumb print classification system of these guys still baffles me. How they manage to get the exact names right, based on a generic gods name also baffles me, but my brother says they use a "yatchuni" and read your mind. Possible!

San was apparently irritated, because the guy kept saying she was going to have various problems and that if she did certain "parihaarams" (appeasement), wore certain amulets made of certain metals, she would mitigate the effect and was trying to sell her amulets in the middle of the session. She pretty much walked out early because there were two hungry kids waiting in the van. Apparently in the entire history of the Naadi Astrology place, she was the first one to lose interest after her leaf was found and walk out before the reading was finished.

Either San is a very unique person, or that dude overdid his salesman bit! Looks like the leaves are now a commercial hit, and that does not spell good news for people who actually believe in it, and go seeking what the wise sages wrote for them!

Naadi is still fascinating, but beware of business!

ps. If anyone knows Ambuja's real name, please let us know. She has a special place in our heart!

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