Last weekend was interesting. It was the beginning of a lot of festivities. First the ladies celebrated Varalaskshmi vritham on Friday. We had a lot of friends and family visiting us in the evening.
Had to fly out on Saturday afternoon and was initially very disappointed because the thread changing ceremony which I look forward to every year was on Sunday/Monday based on an earlier conversation with my parents.
Was also looking forward to chatting with my nephews... all three of them who had their Upanayanam ceremony this summer.
When I told my mom that I will miss the ceremony and spend the day on a plane and given I lose 15 hours due to time difference, the days and times don't count. My dad said in a matter of fact voice "change the thread before you leave or after you come back. I will tell you when. Something is better than nothing!". Then went on their usual gripe about travel, priorities in life, a persons reasoning, am I doing this travel for money or for some higher purpose, money is not the priroity, etc. etc.
As it turned out the actual day for the ceremony was Saturday and Sunday. So I got up bright and early on Saturday and changed my Poonal (refered to as thread in this blog over the years).
Wife and MIL had plenty of Idly batter from the previous day and made me Idly and also some Pongal. Was going to fast the rest of the day on the plane and do Gayathri Japam on the plane if possible.
My parents were happy after seeing that picture. I pretty much slept through the plane ride and after reaching the hotel, took a shower, sat down facing the setting sun in the 20th floor of a hotel room and recited the gayathri mantra a 1008 times. My nose was blocked after the flight thanks to United freezing us in mid flight but it didn't stop me. Ate a few more of the packed idlis and went to sleep.
Had severe headaches the rest of the trip and finally made it back. Went to do yoga and as usual the new white thread catches peoples eyes before I walk into the room and a person asks "what is the meaning of that?".
So I went on the usual "It is something that a particular sect from India wears as a mark of their commitment to learning and the pursuit of knowledge." then after a few more questions and answers later (by this time I have a practical FAQ on the thread aka poonal written inside my head and the answers come with practiced ease), there was a bonus question. "Is it passed on by birth only or can anyone wear this thread and do the ceremony? You tell me that you are still into research and development and pride yourself on learning and I get it, but you are no longer doing priest stuff right? So why wear this thread?"
When the question is asked in English with a Japanese accent from an innocent and sincere face, I felt my FAQ needed a re-write!
Told her that as far as I knew, most of the folks who wear the thread were born into the families of brahmins, but there are lot of instances of folks accepting the thread and pursusing a brahmin life. I still had not answered the second part of the question.. why still wear it if you are not doing prayers every day like a priest?
The bell rang and I walked into the hot room. We were 55 minutes into the 90 minute class and were going from standing series to floor series to get a 2 minute break lying down staring at the ceiling in dead body pose. I was way too alive for those two minutes as my brain was trying to consisely summarize what definied a person as a brahmin, more specifically what defined me in my own opinion (that level of restricting the question should have an easy answer). Forget the rest of the world Sundar.. what makes you a Brahmin in your own mind?
So I tried to summarize with my fingers the bullet points of what I valued as Brahmin, lying there staring at the ceiling, counting with my thumb against the tips of my fingers.
a. Value knowledge over everything else
1. Keep an open mind
2. respect your teacher above anything else
3. keep learning no matter what your age
4. don't keep that learning to yourself. . . teach people whenever possible (and I was smiling thinking...
unless restricted by IP licenses and legal contracts)
5. Question things.
i. If the answers don't make sense keep questioning
ii. don't accept an answer because it is convenient
iii. don't reject an answer because it is beyond your comprehension at that time.
b. Don't chase money, power or crave social acceptance
1. Knowledge and and education are more important than being rich or powerful
2. spare no effort to make sure your kids get the best education (something that was passed on from
parents and relatives)
3. value knowledge and money will come. Value money and ignorance and arrogance will come.
c. Be obsessive compulsive when it comes to cleanliness
1. if there is one thing that is common to all the rules to follow growing up in a Brahmin family it is the love
for cleaning oneself obsessively and learning to love it..
2. be careful with what you eat and how you clean things before eating (goes to vegetarian choice, cleaning
the floor before putting plates or eating from banana leaves, drinking from glasses where you dont touch
the glass with your lips, sharing food with others in same plates etc.. ).
Almost looks like folks came up with elaborate rules after some epidemic that was spread by human contact or through food and the rules stayed with the survivors of the epidemic and became the POR or BKM.. (Process Of Record , Best Known Method for folks who are wondering..)
d. Follow the rules
1. Be it the rituals to follow during prayers (it is more like a training for you to know that following rules is important, maybe some rules are made by the priest and others are made by your wife.. but follow the rules you must)
2. or the rules in daily life. If there is a rule of law follow it or work to change it
e. Respect
1. everyone for what they do. I do see a lot of folks with the thread falter on this one. If you do have good guidance and great teachers, you will know that respecting everyone for what they do is the right way.
2. respect yourself (you realize this as part of the daily ritual after getting the thread)
3. respect the thread and what it reminds you of and what it stands for
Visions of my grandfather kept coming to me and I had tears for no reason just thinking of him. I would constantly try to be a pain in the ass asking him 20 questions per minute and he would sit in the backyard in the evening and explain things to me one at a time with infinite patience while taking some Tulasi and green camphor, crush it and hold it under my nose to clear my blocked nose so I could ask him more questions without suffering..
My kids never ask me any such questions. They seem to have some intuitive understanding of who they are and are comfortable with who they are..
I was all set to have more detailed answers for the next time someone asked me questions..
Then came the funny side of life. Does this come in different sizes? you used to have a smaller thread.. this one is much larger! it was true. Somehow the priest who gave me this thread has given me a much longer poonal.
was going to say "It comes in S, M, L and XL. Somehow I got the XL but given I already changed it, going to stick to it till next year and go back to M" but turth is most of the time I have seen only two sizes, a kids size and adult size.. For some reason this time I have a much longer one.
Have to go ask my dad for answers!
Every year around this time there is a lot of festivities. Today happens to be Janmashtami, Krishna's birthday. There is more stuff to eat and a prayer to be said in the name of Krishna..
My stomach is returning to normal again just in time and that is great news..
MIL has outdone herself this year with some treats!
Being Brahmin and wearing a poonal should not stop with just wearing it and doing Sandhyavandanam.. to me it means knowing how to make seedai, experimenting with it, passing on what I learned and most importantly washing my hands before eating the seedai!
Tuesday, August 11, 2020 at 12:30PM ;)
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