To moms everywhere

When one gets to see one's mom face to face once every two years and on video calls once in 3 months, an official  "mother's day" is warranted. 

Being at home for Mother's day is also a nice thing. Was supposed to come back Saturday, but came in a day early thanks to another food poisoning scare. At this point, I need a quick test to check the food before eating it to find out if it will make me throw up. Someone should come up with a field test equipment to check foods for allergens. 

This morning the mother hen got a lot of gifts and we have all been on our best behaviour, although the day is far from over and it is too early to call. Given that previous sentence, you get the general picture that the average day for San is a disappointing one. 

Over the last year and a half, given my travel schedule, the dynamic in the house has changed a lot. Have seen too many traveling men lose their families (out of sight, out of mind, right?!) and the ones that still have their families being reduced to the same treatment as an ATM machine. 

Do not want to end up like that. So my own insecurities have led me to be the good cop more often than in years before. That makes San the bad cop all the time and the kids really take it out on her. She has gone and cried her eyes out on multiple occasions last year because the kids saw her as "some kind of enemy" and I did not step in enough to take sides.  Again, these are perceptions and perceptions are a precursor to reality.

There is another issue with taking sides when three girls are fighting. One minute they are fighting. Next minute they are best friends and the one guy in the house, who took sides is the bad guy, simply because he took sides! So it is a lose-lose situation for me if I take sides. Having learned that the hard way, I sit outside the ring and watch. 

All I wanted to do was wish everyone a happy mothers day and this post is meandering out of control. So getting back on topic, today has been a good and peaceful day so far. 

Called my mother and wish her a Happy Mother's day. Her remote controlling abilities on me are waning and it is noticeable. These days there is no guilt tripping, no lecturing, etc. There is just a quiet resignation to the fact that her son is not going to do a desk job and is unlikely to stop traveling in the near future in spite of all her pleas and all she can do is to pray for my health.

The fact that my grandma is not doing well, is more on her mind than anything. Have made a resolution that before this year ends, will go spend a few days or at least a weekend with my parents.

Then I went to yoga class this morning. The owner of the studio, was on the adjacent mat. For those readers who do not know her, think of the Mother Superior in the Convent schools we see in our Tamil and Malayalam movies, and square it. Two weeks ago, she had planned to do back to back classes and for some reason got pulled back to attend to urgent business before the second class. So her empty mat was there next to mine. The thought that she might show up suddenly on that mat anytime, scared me enough to give 120% for the first 20 mintues of class. The Virtual teacher was scarier than the real one.  

There are only two scenarios that are more serious than having the Yoga Matriarch on that next mat, real or virtual.

a. My MIL on the next mat. 

b. My mom on the next mat

Two women who are capable of pushing me with that "mom sentiment". 

a. has happened and has been verified, while b. is highly unlikely to happen in this lifetime.

All that said, my Yoga teachers are my "in-loco-moms" now. They make sure I don't get away with any slacking. They also care in a way only a mom cares for you. Push you a little bit over the edge knowing that falling is part of learning to walk. 

I type this with the realization that one has to be really fortunate and have good Karma, to be surrounded by women who make your world worth living.

Here's to moms!

Happy mothers day everyone. 

Now, have to go and make sure the rest of the day is peaceful ! 

ps. Was searching for a good photo of my dad for him to use on his cell phone ID in India and found these ones from 4 years ago. The first one is "mom, the by the book south Indian wife" and the second one is "mom, the school teacher who taught for 42 years and retired"

Mothers day

Every day is mother's day.. but when you live in a world where only one day is made special to mothers, one tends to go with the flow!

The kids made a cake, decorated it and let Mom cut it. By the time they were done fighting over who gets to write what on the cake, mom had pretty much given up hope on the cake's cuttability if such a word exists. 

Apparently it came out good and the three of them ate a sizeable portion of it. Daddy was happy to just play photographer as all those colorful things on top cannot be good as they are all some concentrated form of sugar!

In case you are wondering why Jr. has a big "bindi" aka "pottu" smack dab in the middle of her forehead instead of the tiny dot right between her eyebrows (mommy style).. she was posing for me earlier!

You see, these days it feels like I am 14 years old again because Jr. has a scary resemblence to my sister at the same age be it both at certain angles or her mannerisms.  To prove my point here is the picture of them around the same age, give or take a year difference!

Same controlled smile, same donna kaadhu, same collar bone showing, same type of earring choice.. just simply scary! Don't think I ever yelled at my sister that much when she was at that age.. but feels like I am making up for that by shouting at my sister's look alike! 

Here's to Mom's! If someone made a movie called "Mom's" the tagline should read 

"MoM's - terrorizing sons and daughters since the beginning of time"

My mother still has a superhuman ability to remote control me from the other side of the world. Not that it is a bad thing because chances are San has that magical ability and will exercise it when time comes on Jr. and the little one! Daddy Narayanan is counting on it!

On a side note, it feels like I have 34 mothers now. Every teacher at BYSJ reminds me of my mother. Almost makes me think that that my mother is giving them some secret coaching classes on how to push me past my limits. They all pick on me in class, somehow know I am trying to take it easy on some pose and call out my name and say "smaller step", "higher", "more".. and I go "how could you have possibly known that I did that? Touched my head to the floor with that wide a stance only yesterday and it was not your class. How could you possibly know! How?" .. that kind of thing happens only with Mom, because she has eyes on the back of her head and can know! 

Hope all those mom's out there had a great Mother's day. Tomorrow is unfortunately... just another day!

Mother's day gift

We (me, Jr. and the Little One) were all obviously aware of this Sunday being Mother's day. The kids get reminders from school, get to make their little ceramic things with their bare hands as a token of affection and have the surprise planned out.

Daddy is out in the open and unless he has a secret stash of cash he cannot buy anything without Mom knowing it. Actually it is a crying shame that daddy doesn't go to the bank anymore, does not know his bank balance, credit card balance or mortgage balance these years..

San will scream every now and then if I talk about a lens or camera accessory or some long trip somewhere and as long as I refrain at the right times, things are okay.

On Friday we had to get groceries on my way back from work with a detour to Jr.'s dance class. We happened to see a Mother's day sign outside a Nursery and they had a nice Japanese Maple tree for 20 $ .. Knowing that we have been looking for a shade tree for the last few months and they were always around 50 $ thought this would be a great surprise.

Bought the tree, dug a big hole after fighting allergies and planted it...

to get a lukewarm response!

LO : I thought you bought the tree for yourself appa! How can a tree be a gift to Amma?

Me : Every mothers day she can go see how beautiful the tree has grown and you can all go water it. Didn't we buy this tree on a mother's day sale?! It is for mom!

Jr.: If we water it only once a year, that tree will die!

Me : Un vaila nalla vaarthaye varaadha di? (won't any good word ever come out of your mouth?)

San: I was going to spend 20$ on a pedicure. Now me pedicure is planted in the backyard! Don't have a problem with the tree. . just have a problem with it being a mother's day gift!

All said and done, the mother's day gift stands tall and will hopefully outlast all of us. Someday we can sit in its shade and open future mother's day gifts..

Time will tell....

Happy Mother's day to all mother's out there!

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Happy Mothers day

The day started off on a bad note with the usual breakfast struggle. Had promised that Breakfast will be over before mommy came out of the bedroom but that was not meant to be. One should not promise anything when little kids finishing breakfast on time is part of the plan.

Finally after a busy day we did something to make up for it. Ate outside without any fights between family members!

Happy Mothers day to all!

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Mothers day

Mother's day is a lot of things to a lot of people... depends on country, culture, commerce.. etc.

All said and done a day where you thank Mom's with an open gesture. It was conceptually new to me because as a kid growing up in India, do not remember any special plans for mothers day or my dad deciding to kiss my mom or buy her special gifts or cook breakfast for her while she woke up late or do a special archanai in the local temple on that day just like he would on her birthday (the archanai of course).

When in Rome, do as the Romans do is what they say (still don't know how the Roman's celebrate Mothers day, but we do know how Californians celebrate) and that means we should have been on the program and schedule.

As fate would have it, I fell sick and pretty much blotched any semblance of plan or schedule.

Woke up this morning with a terrible stuffy nose and painful sinus. Told the little one "wake up.. we have to wish all the moms on mothers day"

LO : Let us go wish mommy

Me : she is still sleeping. don't wake her up. I will call Madras Paati(grandma) and wish her.

LO : why should you wish Paati for mother's day?

Me : what do you mean? She is MY mother. I have to wish my mother on mother's day!

LO : it is MOTHER's day. Not GRANDMA's day!

Me : we have to wish all mothers we know. especially our own mothers. you go wish Amma. I go wish Paati. Amma will wish Bombay (San's mom goes by Bombay Paati or just Bombay in our house)

LO : Now I get it. should I wish Madras Paati too?

Me : yes. and every mom you meet today!

at that point we decide to call Madras Paati.

Me : happy mother's day

My mom : (very hesitantly) Thank you

Me : enna pannindu irukkeL ? (what are you guys doing?)

My mom : silence.....

Me : Enna maa.. pesave maatengare? (what mom.. you are not speaking?)

My mom : was trying to figure out who was on the other side. You must have a really bad cold. what is wrong with your voice? I cannot even recognize your voice? have you been taking care of your health? is it the job? etc. etc.. she almost went to "are you drinking your horlicks every night or not?" we just stopped shy of horlicks and the ennai theichu kuliyal (oil bath). You know you are in trouble if the oil bath makes it into the list of questions.

Me : Please let me talk. I DO have a bad cold. the weather keeps changing outside. Yesterday we went to a birthday party at a local park. it was very warm when we left and walked around in a T-shirt. Suddenly it got very cold and chilly and by evening I had a stuffy nose. It will get better.

Mom : what is the point of wishing mothers day when you are somewhere and I am somewhere and can only see you in pictures? and cannot even recognize your voice?

Me: you have a point there. will come home soon and we can talk, okay?

that cheered her up, at least temporarily...

the sickness kept going. An afternoon nap that was more than a nap. Then we decided to go out and have a drive. San pretty much said "come on now. just sit in the car and I will drive. let's take the kids and my mom out to eat someplace"

so off we go to do some errands and then hit Baja Fresh for an early dinner for the four of them (just had to watch as my stomach wasn't food ready).

We are waiting for San to come out of some store. There is a huge banner on Saratoga Avenue for Lumix Point and shoot camera's.

Jr. : Daddy, when can you buy me my own camera?

Me : I told you that I will buy you one before your next birthday and if not will give it to you as a birthday gift, no?

Jr. : Amma cannot take pictures with your camera anymore. the lens you have there is too complicated for Amma. she doesn't know how to use it.

Me : stop. I can teach her.

Jr. : NO! you cannot. It is very complicated. I have seen it. It has many rings and you keep moving buttons on it and she thought about it that other day and told me "it is too complicated and I don't want to break it and get in trouble with your daddy". We need to be a "camerologist" or something to use your camera. Can you buy me something easy where I can just see the picture on the screen and click?

Me: A camerologist? don't you know a word for someone who takes photos?

Jr.: (sheepishly) Oh yeah! Photographer!

Me : okay. we will think about it.

by the time this conversation was over San showed up and we were off to Baja Fresh..

we were happy, mad, silly, sad and all of the above over a 45 minute period.

Somehow we were all happy that we had each other.

Then we got home and Jr. and the little one insist I sleep with them for a few minutes.

Me : cannot lie down now. Nose is completely blocked. have to inhale vicks

LO : otherwise you will die?

Me : no. I won't die. will feel miserable.

LO : okay. we were worried.

Me : don't worry. everything will be fine.

LO : When is father's day?

Me : Don't know. But don't do anything special for father's day. just pray that we will all be healthy.

Mother's day went with the true realization and appreciation of what Mother's do for you and why they hold such a special place in your heart..

Here is to moms, who make you feel better, who support you when you are up or down and teach you constantly it is not a bad idea to listen to them...

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