Please sleep with me
Wednesday, April 29, 2009 at 11:58PM It has been a while since daddy slept in his bed.
Let's say that it has been since the little one was born..
During the recent India trip, San had somehow made sure that the LO went to bed on her own. I never believed it. When I got back, the LO tried her "daddy, please sleep next to me!" puppyface routine and without realizing what a mistake it was,(and being guilt ridden for leaving her and going to India), gave in and slept next to her two days after I got back. She promptly used my hand for a pillow and went back to sleep.
Then we tried to say things like "remember how you slept on your own in your bed when daddy was in India. Do that and make us proud ! " etc. and it seemed to work. Still, she would wake up at 3, 4, 5AM and come to our bed and say "daddy , you lied. you are not next to me" or "I have bad dreams" or "my tummy hurts" or just plain wail for 30 minutes till I relented, afraid that she would awaken everyone else in the house.
That went on for 2 weeks.
Yesterday, she slept on her own. Cried at 4AM for 15 minutes and I came over and gave her my hand to sleep on.
Tonight, while drinking milk before bedtime, she asked me
LO : "daddy will you sleep with me"
me : No. sleep by yourself and make me proud
LO : but, but, I will cry!
me : why should you cry? you are a big girl. your akka sleeps on her own in her bed. You want to be like your akka right? go sleep on your own.
LO : but I am going to wake up and come to your bed.
me : If you wake up and have bad dreams or something, I will come sleep in your bed later. But right now, go sleep. I have work to do.
LO : I am having a bad dream
me : (!!!???!!!) what do you mean?
LO : I am having a bad dream right now daddy. will you come thacham(tamlish kidspeak for sleep) with me?
me : But you aren't even sleeping yet!
LO : I know. I am just trying to see if you will come...
so much for the deviousness of a three year old.
If the little one was a three year old boy, would he be this devious? the eyelash batting, the puppyface, the devious logic... somehow this has to be part of her being a girl and don't think anyone is even teaching her this stuff. Mommy doesn't do anything like this.. at least not in the last four years...Mommy just glares at daddy if she want's anything done! So where IS she getting this stuff from? Has to be in-born right?
I know.. I know.. that last paragraph is going to spark something somewhere, but cannot help thinking that!
This is like making a four month old baby to sleep through the night.. all over again.. except this time making her sleep through the night on her own!
I need to be strong
I need to be strong
I need to be strong
I need to be strong
.
.
.
.
.
Okay will write it a hundred times in a notebook somewhere.. and yes, didn't cut paste it 3 times.. actually typed it! and that should show you how serious I am about the being strong part.
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Reader Comments (9)
he he...I don't know about the girl part. My son already knows that if he makes cooing noises and hugs me, I will hug him back and then if he doesn't let go - I will have no choice but to carry him. He is only 1!
I think they know exactly where your buttons are and how to push them!
Daddies...:).. Never knew the power of the pull till my lil one came along.. try thinking about a 3 month old, who bats her eyelids at daddy,so he would pick her up.. thts starting early !
:)
The ways of the 3 year olds...!! Perhaps its there in the genes. Whatsay Sundar !?!
:)
haha, persevere Sundar annah persevere...consistency is key! The child I work with and I had our first real battle last week.
I am usually known as the softie amongst the team, so she has a tendency to boss me around or refuse to do the tasks that I ask her to. This week I finally had a break through, I put my foot down and refused to budge. She even went as far as announcing- " I'm going to cry," proceeded to cry... then she told me she was unhappy and came right upto my face and gave me her best puppy dog eyes and pouted while still crying, finally she found her stuffed toy (XYZ) brought in for support, waved it at my face and said XYZ's mommy is very unhappy and crying, please don't make me do this.Lol.
But because I was told not to get suckered in and I persistantly but in a loving manner said no and announced that she would indeed have to do said task, she eventually gave up. But I've been warned that now that she knows that I'm trying to be tough, she will bring out all her possible tactics and try to get me back to that old routine, so here's my advice to you and I, remain consistent and firm. She will cry, she will try everything but eventually she'll wear her self out, just don't let her sense the fear, they(kids) will eat us alive :)
Although am not a parent myself, have seen enough cousins, nephews and nieces to realize that Sivajini's advice is probably the only thing that will really work in the long run. Be tough, and be consistent with it.
Yes, the kids might end up hating you for a long time to come, but when they do grow up, they ll surely come to realize that tough love is the best form of love.
Give in Sundar. She is going to win anyway. Lol. Good luck with the trying though :)
Oh give up she is only going to be 3 for a short time. They will be grown ups soon and you will miss all these cuddling. Anyway keep me posted how things goes. BTW I am way too curious about S glaring at you and you doing stuff for her. How romantic. None of those works in my house. Once I winked at my husband and he thought I had some problem in my eye and ignored me. Little girls always win.
Take care,
V
v:
winking/hints does not work with husbands. a stern stare/glare will work wonders.
sundar:
that was one brave post ;-).
i know exactly what you mean re: daddy's hands and pillows. my little one is yet to let go of her pillow too (the local equivalent of 'thaachi' is 'jaaji').
- s.b.
Boys or girls it is the same....
I don't know of many teens that (yes it could last that long) sleep with the parents, enjoy this phase while it lasts..all she needs is your arm for a pillow...I'm sure you enjoy the feeling as well! I know I did when my son was at that age. Now he thinks my arm is neither big nor soft enough to be a pillow :((