Who are these "guys"?

Just as I was breathing a sigh of relief on account of saving the "guys" topic with Jr. on the previous post, the little one decides to overuse the word "guys". We must have heard it a few thousand times in the last 48 hours!

Still do not know where she heard this. Obviously she picked it up from someplace. Keeps talking to these imaginary "guys" on the phone, sometimes more than 10 minutes at a time.

Here is a secret video of the little one talking to her imaginary...

Do you notice her say things like "He was so rude. I dont like that!"

The little one was roaming around the house in her "jatti" because we were potty training her and were pretty much under house arrest during the weekend. Thanks to her phone call and the secret videos, we were not bored one bit!

Who are these guys? Why am I being given a sneak peak into the future? Why this early? What is the rush to have these coy conversations with imaginary dudes? Maybe she is breaking me early?

I stand no chance!

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The mind of a child

The human brain is an amazing thing. A childs brain is probably even more amazing than an adult brain, from a thought perspective.

The whole separation anxiety post should be seen in a different light.

Today the Little one came and kissed my boo boo. Bumped my hand somewhere and she came running to kiss it. In her mind, daddy cannot get better without her kiss. It definitely makes me feel better when she comes running to kiss. She associates my smile to be healing and extrapolates it.

The whole time I was away, she was probably worried about me, not about her. What would this big baby do if he were to get hurt in Texas? How would be survive without my healing kiss? How could he possibly go to sleep without me on his hand?

Today she said "Dont worry daddy. You are here now. I will kiss you and everything will be all right!". She was so serious when she said it.

As an adult I fail my wife and kids so many times because of being in my own self centered world. Most adults are self centered! That is the way of the world. You have your work, your family, your home, your this, your that.. It is at the end of the day all about "you", "your perspective", and "your world"!

There is not a lot of options here. Even when you think about your kids, they are "your" kids and the thought is usually about "your" worries on how what "you" are doing affects them as they grow up!

Once in a while "you" get the view from the childs point of view and it boggles "your" mind!

ps. Was accused of being very selfish earlier today, which I probably am. Tried to see how often the word "I" is used in my posts. Not a lot. But when you always tend to write in second person or as Daddy, you are doing the wrong search to determine "% self centeredness"!!

There is a lot more "you" and "daddy" in this blog to prove that point!

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Values and Limits

From a young age, when we were school going kids, we are taught values. Some of us can afford to forget those values. Others take those values seriously and retain them for a long time. These constant values have stood the test of time for the most part and chances are you remember them the same way your parents did when they were growing up.

Take for example the value of C, the speed of light which is 3x10^8 or N the Avogadro number which is 6.23x 10^23 or c the electron charge which is 1.6x10^-19 and many more! (What with the elections and all, you thought we were talking moral values, right? he he he )

Another important value that has newly ingratiated itself into our life now is B, the maximum limit in dollars that can be paid for a Bribe item for the kids without approval from the spouse!

The value of B is easy to remember. It is 9.99

This constant almost seems to have universal significance. (Err... in the US of A, Universal takes on a very different, localized meaning!) Almost every parent we know of that follows the two pronged approach to child rearing, seems to have converged on the same limiting value for B.

Now what is this "two pronged approach"? There is a very simple explanation.

A scientific study by Dr. Narayanöhe of the BOGUS Institute finds that at a fundamental level, there are only two control knobs available to deal with kids.

a. Bribes
b. Threats

This essentially summarizes the "two pronged approach".

There are only two variations within this approach, the study concludes:

1. Bribe first and if the bribe does not work, threaten later
2. Threaten first and use bribes as last resort

Depending on the economic situation in the household and the rebel coefficient of the kid involved, parents optimize to one of these two approaches.

Here is a Case Study. As a parent, you thought Toysrus would be a good time pass option, knowing very well that you cannot come out of the store without some spending. You have a screaming kid on the floor outside the Toysrus. Even if the kid knows that everytime you buy her something, she still goes into the default "scissor kicking and high pitched screaming" routine. Let's say she is asking for something which she will lose interest in, as soon as she gets out of the garage and goes into the house, but the value of said toy is under $9.99, you cut your losses and just buy it.

What if she wants the battery operated mini Hummer with a price tag of a few hundred dollars? Then there is the threat of her never ever getting anything from you. This is usually followed by a bribe worth, well, not more than $9.99. Case closed!

Note, there are always the borderline instance where the object at hand is worth 12.99 . The house rules clearly state that anything over the 9.99 limit needs spousal approval and a phone call is required to confirm the purchase.

Also the parents can sometimes make a sport (even a spectator sport) out of the TPA. The parent who can steer a kid from an object worth 299.99 to 19.99 then on to 9.99 and even beat that and get to 2.99 or 0.99 !!! gets bragging rights.

Tip1: (I might sound like a shampoo salesman here, but here goes) Volume, volume, volume. Kids think volume is better, at least mine do. So, if you can buy a huge ball of bubble wrap for a dollar, it is worth more than a box of Dora products with the same volume.

Tip2: Please do not share this tip with Toyrus Marketing Department or they will make Tip1 useless.

Now, what is your limit?

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