A toothbrush, napkin wrapper and an evening of shopping

Could have titled this post "three conversations" but that would be bland..

On recent Asia trips, I have started a new habit. Take the toiletries I use in the hotel room and put them in by backpack every day.. then bring them home, use them a few more times before throwing them. My little contribution to the "green earth" campaign? Actually not! 

A colleage told me that he saw a youtube video where the folks who come clean the rooms in star hotels in Asia, were caught on hidden camera, using the guest's toothbrushes in the toilet just out of spite. "Why take chances?" was my logic.

Came back from the trip and was about to throw the comb and brush (which had squished itself in my backpack and was not usable anymore) into the bathroom bin, and saw teh green glow of the sanitary napkin wrapper under the bin lid. Given my jet lag and my inclination to randomly burst out at my wife and kids for 24 hours after the trip, either when woken up or when asked to do pick up drop offs where I see myself unfit for driving, this wrapper put me on high alert. So the next day I was doing everything, as my usual being extra nice to my wife routine. Did not talk back, accepted last minute schedule changes, etc. I was tired and pissed off in general, but was okay with it.

Then we have a conversation where my wife asks me do take the kids somewhere, at the last minute and I said "fine!". My kids were genuinely suprised by this. After she left the house, they asked "what is going on?". She has asked you to do things quite at the last mintue since yesterday and you have been accepting this. This is the third time just today... Did you do something wrong? 

Me: Look, your mom has also been tired as I have been gone for a week. She is going through a busy time at work, has been doing all the driving by herself and also she is "aathula illai"!

"aathula illai" literally translates to "she is not in the house" and figuratively means "she is on her periods". The kids were rolling and laughing out loud. When I asked them why, they tell me that the only remaining box of pads was in our bathroom, and when they go to our bathroom to grab pads, they unwrap and put the cover and stickers in our bin.  The joke was apparently on me and I was being extra nice for no reason... I was going to ask "wait, how long has this being going on?" and was about to lecture them on the importance of using their own bin for their own trash as it is sending me wrong signals, and decided.. yeah, the joke was on me. It was okay to be nice to San even if for all the wrong reasons.

So I throttled back on the nice a little bit. I still had jet lag. An attempt to do yoga to fight jet lag ended up with me running out of the hot room to get rid of stomach acid and I really was unable to fight the afternoon nap, which ended up being more than a nap. 

I walk around after this "nap" in zombieland and overhear the wife and kids having a conversation about what to do on our 20th wedding anniversary. Instead of walking on by, made the mistake of blurting out,  "lets go somewhere local so we can have a day out and come back home by evening and celebrate dinner at home with family and friends"... the looks.. oh the looks I got in response! They were planning something else.. then the kids look at me and ask "wait ! isn't this YOUR anniversary as in both of you? so why is Amma planning something on her own. She said it is HER anniversary" . My response was "she is giving herself an award for putting up with me for 20 years! I might not even be invited to the celebration and won't be surpised if that happens!" 

This is shortly followed by me being asked to come along on a shopping trip. Went very very reluctantly because I was guilted into coming. Was answering phone calls outside a shop and was busy taking pictures of a crow inside the mall when we decided that one kid should go with each parent to shorten the shopping time.

Walked around with Jr. and found out through some Matlock / Colombo style detective work that she was going to go on a banquet with her Marching band and was planning to buy a "dress" for it. She tried some stuff and was not happy. Then I told her "it is cold out. you are doing straight to a dinner and coming back. just wear a nice shirt and a good sweater on top, which you have plenty of, no?" and she says "you are right. I will do that. it is a good idea!"  I was really surprised. Would I in this lifetime see my daughter become a value shopper like me? would she ever bargain with multiple vendors to find the base price and do a deal where they still make money and she would get a good deal? My head was racing with the possibilities!

Then we are having dinner and the little one says "I am Appa!".. I was a little confused. Is this some "We are with Paris" type thing she is starting, to make me feel better?! Turns out, she just realized that she eats just like me.. Her friends were telling her that she eats like a camel by moving her lower jaw out and she was watching me eat and realized she does the same thing. So, it wasn't some kind of solidarity movement. Just a bitter realization, but she was smiling and was giving me a "Guess there is no escaping the genes!" look. 

Later,  San shows me a few sarees online to see which ones I liked. Picked three on the a vs. b choices she gave and she said ...all those are old lady sarees. they are not "chinna ponnu" sarees... (Chinna Ponnu is little girl quite literally). On the one hand we have the bearded me trying to tell the world he is done with looks and has accepted his age while we have a chinna ponnu with two chinna ponnu's under the same roof. I did not even respond to that comment and just nodded, thinking "The generation gap between us is increasing rapidly!" 

Have realized over the last few months that it doesn't take much to make myself happy. I can be alone and reset myself. Can stare at myself in the mirror and come out with a "don't care" attitude. Feels more and more like I am forcing myself through the daily routines, as part of a responsibilty and commitment but take no joy in certain things like chauffering or even shaving anymore. San hates the chauffering equally as she does my beard. 

The life cycle was explained to us in middle school as a four stage process.. first stage, bachelor hood, 15 years of studying and being a good boy, then 15 years of married life and having kids, then 15 years of living in the forest and the last 15 of being an ascetic renouncing stuff. Now that retirement age keeps rising, even the Wikipedia entries for the four ashramas are being pushed to 24 freaking years each!!! I don't think I will live past 70 anyways, so the whole thing is messed up.

Maybe I have reached that stage in life where one is supposed to say bye to everyone and walk into the forest alongwith my wife, to live out our last years? Don't think "chinna ponnu" is likely to follow me into any forest anytime soon, or even a national park for that matter. It was my dream to rent an RV and just visit every national park in the continental US, go on long hikes and take time to photograph sunsets, with no time limit to come back to the parking lot. San used to share that dream, given we both liked long road trips before we had kids. I used to haul my camera bag and she used to carry my tripod and walk with me to watch / capture the sunset. Now I don't think all the time in the world is going to be enough for me to get to those same locations we visited before, from even the closest parking lots carrying that camera bag! 

My family tells me that my battery is low. I am not excited for anything anymore. I don't know why! Maybe I need a career change. Maybe all this travel has turned me into an emotionless lump. Maybe I am just too tired to fight the good fight on a daily basis. Maybe yoga has turned me into a very inward person who has become extremely selfish subconsciously (not my theory). Maybe I need some Glucon-D or Cinkara ?! (see, there is still a funny guy somewhere in there).

Still writing down these odd little conversations,  because this is what life is about in my eyes.. things kids say and do, how we evolve as children, as parents, how a mundane or not so mundane routine impacts us in ways that are deep, lifes little victories and defeats, perceptions right and wrong,  all over a span of few days, sometimes a few hours! 

A lot less grumpy today and the routine continues. Have to make an effort to find my interest in everyday things back to that stage where every little thing that my wife or kids did filled me with amazment and wonder. It is not their issue, it is clearly a waning of my ability to see the magic that is happening in front of my eyes. Need those special glasses back...

It will happen!

When life takes you on strange Arcs..

Day 9 on our Europe trip had already seen the Louvre, Eiffel Tower, Sienne boat cruise, Notre Dame cathedral and we found ourselves at a boat stop ready to hail an Uber to go back to the Air B&B for a quick rest, wash and maybe something to eat.. before going on to the next stop I had been planning.

The previous post on this series is here..

The Montmartre area where we were supposed to go up the steps to another unique piece of architecture, watch street painters do their caricatures, art etc. and watch the sun set over Paris and see the Eiffel tower and all of Paris light up.. 

Many a friend had recommended this to me as a not to miss.. 

However, after all those staircases, sun in the face and head on open boats, walking through museums as fast as your legs could carry, wandering around cathedrals.. the family had.. how to say it? "HAD IT!"

So my plan to go to the hill was not materializing. If you are a photographer, you want to see the Eiffel tower light up .. not see it as just a steel monster towering above Paris.. but there we were, no one talking to anyone else, quietly sitting in an Uber and almost at the Air B&B. Was taking pictures of interesting streets and corner buildings on the way..

We went, sat in the Air B&B for a few minutes and decided to get out and do "something".. but first food!

When I am tired, hungry and cranky (if you lug a 30lb camera bag around your back the entire day you might be too.. especially with a corn in your foot that is getting worse by the day and you are practically hobbling), I usually gravitate towards Indian food.. no surprises there..

Even San, who works very hard to steer me away didn't argue. She had a slight cold and thought a milagu rasam would do her a world of good. The kids, were not for it. They wanted to have Crepes or anything French... given French food wasn't exactly the top on a Vegetarian families choice we had a conflict. 

By the time we decided what to eat (I had already given up on Saravana Bhavan although we were not that far away from it) we just stopped the discussion and walked into the first restaurant that came our way. It was an empty but newly renovated Pakistani restaurant. 

The kids stopped talking to us, we stopped talking to each other and with enough hate to go around the table for years to come, we ordered a biriyani, nan and two side dishes. Except for one of the side dishes, the rest of the items were below par. The price was way cheaper than any other place though and we thought we got what we paid for. There was more silence as we walked out. It wasn't exactly dinner time yet and we were probably early and the fact that some food had gone inside and the family was willing to walk again was a plus. 

Then I suggested that we walk around the Champs Elysses as that was one thing we were planning to do on our last day in Paris. So there were some silent approving nods and shoulder shrugs and the Uber was hailed again. 

It so happened that we had to cross the Arc to go to the shopping part, so I asked the driver to just stop before we reached the roundabout in front of the Arc de Triumphe. The driver said "thanks" and I didn't know why he was thanking me..

History has failed to teach me in all its repetitive glory that when I dig my self a hole, I dig really well. The god Saturn was probably dancing at the tip of my tongue (at least my Grandma would have concurred with that statement) when I said "how about we just go up the Arc and see if we can catch the Eiffel tower light up from there?"

The silent approvals and shoulder shrugs that had gotten us that far evaporated and turned into "I hate you!" stares. Was pretty sure the family was putting silent curses on me. 

Then they realized that daddy was not going leave Paris without taking photos of the Eiffel Tower by night. There was deliberate shoe shuffling, feet dragging noises but we went through the tunnel and ended up at the entrance to the Arc's stairs. There was a freaking line to buy tickets for climbing the stairs and no one was at the counter!  

This was not helping my cause. After standing there for a good 20 minutes and going through security, we came across a board that clearly indicated how narrow the stairs were and how many steps had to be climbed to go to the top. That was not helping my cause either! 

Basilisks would have been scared of San and the kids after seeing them stare in my direction. We climbed, slowly and just before we started, the little one decided to turn all her anger at her mom. Sparks were flying and then silence. No one talks to anyone anymore. Given it was Paris and if there was one time I HAD to take my wifes side, I said something nice and at least the two of us walked together.  Jr. was trying to mediate with minimal results. 

Everyone was right and everyone was wrong at the same time for all the same reasons. It was 8:45 PM and we had reached the top of the Arc. The views from the top of the Arc were spectacular and we could see the Montmartre area and the hill from the Arc. This would top anything from that hill hands down, is what we all realized and there were some smiles. The family was together again, realizing that this was more comfortable and closer to the Air B&B and we could see the tower up close!

There was a lively crowd all jostling for space to catch the lights and we parked ourselves. Got a lot of pano shots from the top including the sun that was about to set..

We saw a glorious sunset at 9:54 PM and the lights were to come on in 6 minutes.

They did come on slowly. Unfortunately the lights were not making an impression as it was still pretty bright outside. 

Also the lights did not do the twinkling thing that was advertised earier in the day. We had to wait till 11 PM for that.. but the Arc kicks out people before 11 as it closed around that time. So we stayed there till 10:20 in the museum area..

Some photos from the 2 hours we spent up there..

Then something happened again.. no one knows what, maybe because the kids decided to go down without telling us and we kept searching for them between the two levels.. and silence returned. The kids would not sit with us to watch the little video that was on auto play at the gift shop level below the open terrace..

Again, by some strange miracle, we patched up and decided to walk around the Champs Elysses.. hunger it must have been.. the big golden arches were spotted and we ran in for some fries and Ice cream cones.. It was midnight at McDonalds and we had refueled to get back to the Air B&B...

Everyone was glad to be back on an Uber. Without saying much except "don't bother waking me up in the morning" , "me neither", "me neither" to me from different locations within that small apartment, the lights went out.. 

Day 9 came to an end! I was actually glad it did..

We made a "final family video"

This is part of the Europe trip posts.. The previous post on this series of the trip to Mt. Titlis is here..

Our adventure on top of Mt. Titlis deserves a post by itself.

We had reached the top, and started walking to the "glacier walk". That meant going up the Ice Flyer. 

The kids wanted to go on their own and we said "NO". That actually turned out to be a good decision.

A lot of people were turning back because there was no visibility. The traveling Narayanans were not going to turn back. Not when their leader was wearing shorts and a T-shirt to Mt. Titlis. 

So we went, sat on a ski lift type thingy with a pull down plastic cover that comes almost to the waist and the operator gave a tap on the plastic shield and off we went..

We settled in and took this picture.. we were all smiles..

It was a fast steep climb and after just a few seconds on the thing, hail started hitting our feet and the shield. The noise level was unbelievable. When we reached the top, we could not even put our foot down because everything had frozen and the operator at the top told us "you are not getting down here. the ride is closing and you have to keep going down". So we sat on it as it turned around and started coming back down. A flash of lightning and boom, the transformer was out. 

We were just hanging in there for a good 15 minutes with hail and snow coming down. I slowly stopped feeling things below my knees.. then after a few minutes below my waist. My reproductive system I could not care less about, but my ankles and knees and hips.. how will I do yoga? lots of thoughts going through my mind.. when the family started thinking out aloud.. 

one girl started praying to Vembadi Vinayagar (the local Chennai temple favorite) and another girl started talking about her last days on the planet.. we made a video while being stuck on the lift.. and then the backup power came on and very slowly we got down to the stop. There were folks stuck in the operator room (almost 40 of them) and all of them cheered when we came down. Then two more lifts came and we cheered. Apparently four lifts were stuck out there for some time and they were working very hard to get everyone down. 

The view below from the stuck lift.. blue glacial ice!

The organizers of the place told us they did not expect the storm to move in so fast and that usually they will close the ride the minute they see a storm like that move in. We told them we were good and got an adventure and will remember this for a long time. The lady smiled and said "unfortunately none of you can walk back to the building because there are still lightning strikes. please wait till we get an all clear"

We joined the crowd in a small room at the base of the lift and waited for almost 30 minutes before we were all escorted at a slow pace to the main five story building. 

We were badly in need of some warming up. A hot cocoa had never looked so appealing in my entire life. After a few minutes and a realization that we were about to miss the ride down, we ran. 

We were the talk of the bus as everyone had heard about the four lifts that got stuck. At least we made it up and came down.. most folks just ended up spending the entire time in the five story building with restaurants and shops watching the hail pound on the glass. 

This hilarious video pretty much caught the whole thing in bits and pieces.. wish I could have subtitles for it.. 

All said and done, Vembadi did his job.. we were back and had an interesting family adventure! 

This definitely helped change plans for the next day. We were to visit Grindelwald and possibly go to the "Top of Europe" or "JungFrau" but given the weather, we decided it was pointless to do the same thing again the next day and pay 500+ $ / person to go up that mountain on a train... 

turned out to be a wise decision. We actually ended up having a great time in Grindelwald.. that will be tomorrows post..