Hands free

As most of you might or might not know (there, I have covered all options) starting midnight, no driving with a phone to your ear in California!

The rule is simple. You can use the phone to dial out. You just cannot talk while driving, unless you are on speaker phone, or you use a "hands free" device!

Apparently the wise powers that be, in the Great state of California, have decided that this law, is going to make the roads safe, or at least, safer.

Word on the street was that the local electronics stores and Costcos were seeing long lines, with the hands free "bluetooth" devices selling like hot cakes. So, checked out a few options today and bought devices for myself and San. After the purchase and during the drive home, the mind wandered "free", and asked a lot of questions, aided by the various things observed in passing.

1. Why would it be okay to dial a phone (when you are hands and eye free) but not okay to talk?

2. Why would it be okay to drink "Starbucks" coffee and drive with one hand, but not hold a phone and drive? Could it be because promoting hands free devices, forces people to go to the store and buy a product which otherwise would be a novelty? and starbucks has not yet come up with a Handsfree drinking mechanism?

3. Could I come up with say, a hat that has a lining where you pour your starbucks coffee and there is an automatic straw that goes into your mouth for "hands free" sipping?

4. would I make a killing in the stock market if I patent such hat and straw?

5. The girl who just nearly missed the signal, being busy with her makeup and hair brushing (and who also pissed off half a dozen drivers behind her on the left turn only lane) would still be a danger on the road. How can we do "hands free" makeup?

6. Based on an average device making 30% gross margin, with the average device selling for 40 bucks, someone out there is making a lot of money this week?

7. How much did those guys pay, to get this law passed?

8. Why are there so many cops on the road today? Are they practicing for tomorrow?

9. If 1/3rd of the drivers with cell phones are safe, and 1/3rd have purchased the devices and paid their dues, the other 1/3rd will pay the fine to the highway patrol and the state government. How much will the State make?

10. Who the hell makes these rules anyways? We are supposed to work more, be more efficient, multitask to the point that dudes are talking to themselves in restrooms while peeing! No seriously, saw this today where it appeared the guy was talking to his thing.. because he looked down and was talking! Then when he was washing his hands, noticed that he had this earpiece on his right ear (which was not visible to me, when I was standing next to him).

For some reason, he thought it prudent to lower his voice in the restroom, which it made it all the more spooky. Thought he was whispering terms of endearment to his little guy! How then in a world where this happens, are we to stay away from cell phones?

11. Already Brahmin boys have to deal with pulling their "poonal", put it around their ears when they go "pee pee". What would happen to a Tambram boy who is wearing a poonal, spectacles, and a hands free? What if the whole thing gets into one tangled mess around his right ear and it all rips loose on the urinal?

12. Why didn't I buy stock in handsfree device companies a year ago? Why? Why? Why? Could have at least made money there, to compensate for what was spent today!

13. Will they actually collect impartial data over the next month or so and publish it to show if this rule actually reduced accident rates?

14. Will they actually share information, on how much money was made in fines and hands free earpiece sales over the next month?

15. Does the I-phone Junta have some cool out of the world device, that makes the cyborg looking thing I bought, look out of date? Is there an I-Free?

etc. etc. etc.

Came home grumpy, knowing that yet again, the average dude is still an average dude. A person who can only feel powerless against a law making machinery that takes ones tax dollars and finds new ways to screw him.

As soon as I entered the house though, the little one and Jr. cheered me up, with their "hands free" hugging. The little one jumped on me, clung tight like "boots the monkey" and said "Don't hold me daddy. Don't hold me with your hands. Keep walking. I keep huggy-ing you!"

Now that is one hands free, that more than makes up for all those other thoughts.

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Crazy sparks a thought

San called me to watch Crazy Mohan on "Coffee with Anu", on her laptop. He was hilarious as usual. We grew up in the same area. We used to live across the cemetary and he was a few houses away. Their gang would be watching us play cricket while they had their discussions.

A funny thing he said in the program was about how his entire joint family decided which group he should choose in Engineering college.

That brought back memories of my own dreaded IIT-JEE counciling session. My mom and dad were there right behind me. Given a choice, twenty other people would have piled on to decide what group "sundaram" should choose.

If you are one of those kids who is independent and has been raised to know the world better when you are 16 or 17, the councilling session would be a piece of cake. If you happen to be one of those "agraharam types", who has never made a phone call in your life, never reserved a railway ticket, etc., this councilling session where you decide which IIT you go to and what branch of engineering you pursue, can be quite an ordeal, especially if your parents are there right behind you, every step of the way!

I love my parents.(that was a big "period" if you got my drift!)

The professor at the councilling session hands me a form, explains the rules and says, you fill your choices and we tell you where you go based on what all the other guys above you have chosen!

My parents ask him "We want him to stay in Madras? What group will he get in Madras?" to which the Professor explains "He will get Naval Architecture"

The parents are shocked!

What the hell is Naval architecture? We dont want our son studying female anatomy, especially in an architectural context! Then they realize that it has to do with the Navy and start asking if this has anything to do with the defense department.

There is the worry about guns being involved, you know!

Then a comment somewhere about "we dont want him going on ships. they probably only give fish to eat on ships" etc. etc. We did not raise a vegetarian boy to go on ships. How will he survive? etc. etc.

I could have bet money that not a single person in our family had ever been on a ship and the entire collective experience of the family, when it came to ships was restricted to making "kappals" out of the standard 192 page notebooks to float in stagnant rainwater in and around the Sringery Mutt Road. The only exception being an aunt, who would make what was called a "kaththi kappal", a ship with a knife edge. At least if that aunt had raised the question of defense, ship etc. she would have been vindicated!

So there went Naval Architecture. Not that I would have liked it anyways, but the rest of the IIT locations and the merits and demerits of various engineering disciplines were analyzed much along the same lines.

What they wanted, I would not get, and what I would get, they would analyze it to death. The professor found the whole thing amusing, not because of the questions, but because he told me that this was nothing new. Apparently there were lots of kids in my shoes at the IIT Madras counciling sessions! He had this look on his face which said "God works in mysterious ways!".

Finally we must have filled in the entire form from beginning to end! "There is no harm in choosing everything possible in the order of choice" agreed the Professor. If your choices are limited to around 60 combinations out of 500, you fill in the sixty, or maybe another 40 combinations which you might just get or miss, provided someone else screws up on their choice list. Not all 500!

Filled out the form till no group was left out in any location! The ordering was adjusted, more when it came to locations and groups I was likely to get! The professor who was rapidly training my parents in the art of picking groups, was enjoying all this immensely. If I protested, he would lecture me on how I should be listening to my parents, as they knew what is best for me!

Finally made it out of that place in one piece, after half a day of form filling. I made some friends that day in those four hours who are still by buddies to date! That was the big plus. Things have changed a lot over the years, based on what I hear.

If you are someone who is going to counciling, and have just visited the temple just before going to the session and your face is painted in the tricolor, NO, not the saffron, white, green -Indian tricolor, not the red white and blue American tricolor but the Gray, Red and Yellow - Temple tricolor! composed of Vibuthi, Kumkum and Sandalwood paste, and you could prompt Avvai patti to start singing "Gnana pazhaththai pizhindhu...." impromptu by just taking a quick look at you, worry not! Just come to me for advice.

There are plenty of people before you, who went through this ordeal and are living to tell the tale!

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WANTED - updated

Instant review :

WOW !!!

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Now that the movie hangover is gone, more words!
Went to the movie without knowing anything about it. Originally was going to watch the PIXAR movie. Then a last minute change and watched "Wanted". The cousins had already read the reviews of the european release and told me that it was a "good action movie". Knowing nothing else about the movie was actually a plus.

It was a really well made movie. I am tempted to draw parallels with Dasavatharam, but will refrain from doing so.

Assuming that :

Bullets can curve,
Weavers figured out Boolean algebra and boolean representation of the english alphabet a thousand years ago,
the heart can go 400 beats/second (apparently hummingbirds go 1200 and a humans can go 220!)
James McAvoy can be cast as an accountant turned assasin
Angelina can still rock ...

well wait, that last one was not an assumption!, the movie is total entertainment! Keeps you on the edge of your seat, especially after Angelina shows up. The plot, twists given the assumptions are not bad.

There was a certain unique style of displaying everything in this movie (Unique along the lines of Matrix, Sin City, Amelie, etc.) and it was self consistant within the framework of the movie. The director did not violate his own rules, something I always appreciate in a movie. Let me explain. If you are making a movie about flying pigs, and a certain pig is doing sorties, it is within the framework of the movie, because there is a baseline assumption that pigs fly!

This movie has some amazing fight sequences, chases, special effects, and style, and style and more style!

All said and done, came out thinking

a. worth the ticket price
b. If this is an indicator of the summer movies this year, will be watching a lot of good movies.

WallE, Get Smart, Hancock are already on the growing list!

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