Indha kazhudai ketta Manja sevuru

Have not posted anything about music this year and it is May. That doesn't mean there was no music this year.

The year started with learning classical music heavy movie songs and semi-classical songs for the entire January with Paadarivom Padipparivom, and I loved singing every one of those songs. 

We were busy traveling in Brazil and Argentina and I kept listening to "Vedam Anuvilum oru nadham" on repeat even while walking along the beaches in Copa Cabana. Knew I had to sing it as soon as we came back. Had hummed it silently so many times that when it came time to sing it, there was a confidence that the notes were close to where they needed to be! The rest of the songs in the genre were also appealing and challenging but loved it.

Also got a chance to be mentee again after two years and jumped at it. There were high expectations this time from my teachers and hopefully I didn't let them down. Have never tried singing Jathi ever and had to memorize the Jathi portions for a song and sing it. It was a great experience and my teachers were very happy with my enthusiasm. Will write about this mentee experience on a separate post. 

Then we went to India and work caught up and singing took a backseat for a good month. Every now and then, would banish myself to the unheated guest room with the yellow accent wall (hence the title for the post) and try to sing the song of the week from 10-11:30 PM. Given the kids are not here and my wife is busy watching some Korean serial till midnight, can practice till my throat protests. 

One fabulous thing that happened last month was the first US members meeting of Paadarivom Padipparivom in Dallas. Why Dallas? Because two of the teachers are now in Dallas and there are also three members there. One of them is an extremely passionate event co-ordinator and he pulled off what the three members in bay area could only talk about for the last two years. 

Students flew in from all parts of the US to meet and sing with the teachers and the other students. (some are not in the picture as they had to leave early to reach their destinations. there was bad weather and flight delays that weekend to add to our adventures)

The big bonus for us was a crash course on "how to get the most of a dynamic microphone" by the two teachers. Many of us who sing on Smule with our teachers use the mic that comes with earplugs which we hold with our hand (the earpods typically don't work well as they have a lag). When handed a mic in front of a live group the voice simply doesn't sound the same and one has to work too hard.. if you don't know how to use the mic!

Me happily demonstrating how not to hold a mic.. too low and not tilted up enough to suit my throat and mouth!

The teachers helped fix my problem in that one session. Turns out everyone is different and the angle you hold the mic and how close you hold it is something you can figure out easily. One has to practice it though.. kind of like holding the flute at the angle that suits your whistle. 

At the end of it, was able to hit high notes without straining my throat. Given the gain in the amplifiers, we don't even have to be loud. We can sing at a lower volume and sound way better. That was the big takeaway for me. All this time I was "seerghazhi govindarajan'-ing in front of a live audience. Holding the mic but using my real voice to reach.. bummer!

There was also great food and excellent conversation. Met some of these folks in person for the first time but feels like I have known them all my life. These folks are going to be friends for the rest of my life. 

It was great that San joined me for the trip. Within a day and a half, we managed to also visit 3 temples, eat at four places and catch up with friends and see the local area. Traveling with San is always fun for me as I just enjoy watching her be happy! Her face lights up when she is with friends and food.

Will cherish this trip for a long time to come! San also thinks my singing has actually improved. My first song was iffy beacuse I had practiced to a Smule track and was so used to seeing the gray and blue bars move to prompt me to sing and we ended up with a different track in Dallas.

There were two lessons there. First, just sing to the music and avoid the visual aid. Should have actually done that given the song was memorized already. Second lesson is to go before the start and get a feel for the sound of the room. Sometimes it is not easy to hear your voice when singing through a microphone because the amplified voice takes a second to hit your ear and if you are not used to it, you will be late on the beat. Guess this is why people use ear monitor in the mics. However that is not required. Just getting used to it before actually singing the songs does the trick!

San said I did fine after the first song. She even said it to our friends and that made me really happy. She sets the bar very high and we fight every now and then on the topic of "just repeating the same thing is not going to fix it. you have to understand what you are doing wrong and fix it and then sing it".. the repeats for me are to get to a basic level before even attempting fixes. We are clearly at different levels when it comes to singing! 

Now I am back to the manja sevuru every now and then trying to sing. Paadarivom Padipparivom has been a true blessing. The 4th year anniversary was celebrated last weekend. In two months it will be my 3rd anniversary with this wonderful group of people. 

My enthusiasm is still alive, but finding time with changed travel schedules and things at home is making it challenging to do more than just singing one song a week and practising Carnatic music for few hours a week.

Happy to be able to do at least that! 

Marghazi singing

Paadarivom Padipparivom has this wonderful idea to give a platform to students to sing one song each during Marghazi season. There is a lot of encouragement from this community for learning Carnatic music as well as Cine music.

Most of the fellow adult classical music students I have talked to, started learning in hopes that the knowledge here will improve their Cine music singing. It has been two years and two months since I started learning Carntic music again after a long break, from Koushik Ramchander.

He has been an epitome of patience!

For a novice like me, the support this group gives is just phenomenal. If there is one place where the Dunning Kruger effect is in full display, it is while learning Carnatic music or singing Tamil movie songs. 

When I started singing, my knowledge was very limited.. not that I could not identify ragas instantly or have a concept of what "right" sounded like. When my own voice was producing the output, my ears somehow selectively decided to be very forgiving when I was off. It takes a lot of "listening", very careful listening to understand that you are off. 

If a song had 600 notes total, I would be off on 400 of them two years go. Today I am off on 40 and going towards 4. My MIL has been my one constant judge and supporter while my mom has been my strongest critic. 

Two weeks ago, they agreed for the first time after hearing me sing a carnatic based movie song. My MIL told me my voice has finally adapted to sing SPB songs. My mom actually said this and I am saving this for posterity! She prefers if I stick to slokas and bhajans instead of movie songs, which is expected. 

My teachers at PP of course gave me honest feedback on every line of that song on where I was off in the notes, pronunciation and execution. The DK effect does play mind tricks, once you know finer details and appreciate what is actually required vs. where you are. You know what has to be done, but it needs a lot more effort to get there and it cannot be done in a week!

Not one for giving up, have been trying impatiently. That is the truth. 

Singing with just a Tanpura in background and your own hand to keep the beat was a lot more challenging than singing along with your teacher or fellow student on Smule with a familier fixed backround track! Almost came to the conculsion that Smule singing isn't singing and was downright depressed two weeks ago. This song is usually sung in the ragam Naatai (for most of the instances you find on Youtube). He taught it to me in Gowlai ragam. Asked my teacher why he thought I could do this and he said "You can do this Sundar! you already sang every line after me very well in class. you just have to do it at a stretch and on your own!"

Thank god for teachers. They tell you to buckle up, keep your head high and get your confidence back, one step at a time. Koushik Sir as I call him has been my music shrink as much as my music teacher. When you start learning at 49, the psychological challenges in learning need to be fixed as much as the skill gap. What he says between singing notes and making me repeat is the other half of the lesson, probably the bigger lesson! After many attempts, voicenotes feedback on whatsapp, he finally gave me the equivalent of the Oliver Cromwell look.. that made my day!

A heartfelt thank you to this platform and the folks who make it great!  

Carnatic music folks (especially family), this will not meet your standards. The good news is that I am okay with where I am today and tomorrow WILL be better than today! 

Thanks again to PP for this experience! It feels good to participate in the Marghazi season remotely!

Tea-iladha naalilaa..oru radiovilaaaa

We used to live in the top floor of a house facing a cemetery in Mandaiveli when I was a kid just starting school. It was more of an asbestos roofed shed than a proper floor. We had to go out of this room to use the bathroom. It was one large room with a countertop for the stove. There was the small terrace where me and my brother could play. My sister was a toddler. The big plus was the windows facing the cemetery, the main road and the intersection that had a few stores, not to mention a clear view to the tea and bhajji stall, right below the window.

Just watching the tea and bhajji's being made in the evening and served to the standing customers was quality entertainment for a 6 year old. As the older kid, I was allowed to sit at the window and watch the road. I also used to be sick a lot with a skin infection and my parents just let me be.

If the tea and bhajji stall was not entertaining enough, the radio in that stall that would always be on provided even more entertainment. Would sit and listen to movie songs from the window and hum along. Was introduced to the magic of MSV and the then sensational breakthrough genius of Ilaiyaraja.. without even knowing their names. We were not a movie going family.. that shouldn't be news to the readers of this blog.. there was always music though. A gramaphone record player where we would listen to MS, MLV and KJY (all carnatic!). I didn't know then that KJY sang some of the movie songs I was listening to from the window.

Usually the same songs would play at the same time for a few days or even weeks till a new song broke into the list. A few of those songs have stayed deep in my head and when I hear them even today, my mind goes back to that window!

One of those songs is "Vaan nila nila alla..". Had no idea about the movie it was part of or the significance of that movie as a debut for so many famous actors.. the song and the alternating violin were haunting.. all I got was the "nila" (moon) part and would see the moon through the window and would wonder why this song moved me the way it did! 

(could not resist the temptation to mix two photos.. one. of the harvest moon from our front yard and another one of me with a violin and use some effects on Photoshop)

Got to see a track for this song recently and sang it.

Didn't even have to practice for this one. Just listened to the original song once and gave it a shot. Had no idea all those song line variations were etched in my head! It just came out like I had been singing it all these years! This was as surreal an experience as me reciting Sri Rudram off my head sitting in some temple and suddenly imagining sitting in my grandpas lap and almost feeling his hand holding me by my stomach so I don't run away.

The song which has an amazing use of words ending in "la", takes you instantly to la-la land and probably sounded like a nursery rhyme to me as a kid. It was easy to hum.. even if I didn't understand at that age!

There are a few more songs from that time that still come out and I don't know how the lyrics went into memory..Machchana paatheengala, chinna kannan azhaikkiraan, Raja enbar, kadavul amaithu vaitha medai... just to name a few. 

It is amazing how music works its way into the brain.. subconsiously. More amazing is how irrespective of the sadness of happiness level of the song, the way they transport me back in time usually end of making me smile. Music is magic! 

My only recommendation from this is to expose kids to music. Especially melodies! It will definitely help them subconsciously during their adult years!  I am one small living example.

If you have similar experiences, please do share!

Someday I wish Paadarivom Padipparivom will teach this song as a solo, or I get to sing this in one of the platforms they provide for the students to showcase what they have learned over the years!